Always December 2.0+

Only in Indian movies

2011-08-23T02:39:00.011+08:00

WARNING: This post might take away your Indian pride. Also a hint of ~~profannnny~~ profanity

Lets face this shit. Indian movies are down right ridiculous when it comes to incorporating realism or reality or whatever fuck you call it.

Songs in movies are fine..wait or at least we got shaped into the idea of having songs popping out of nowhere in movies, because we are very musically inclined people and so on.

Acceptable, or maybe i dont have a fuckin choice than to back my language and culture up.

Tamil.

My post is gonna be mostly on tamil films as i am one of them. The other Indian movies are equally retarded and im not gonna be an ass and rant about it.

whatever it is, do not fuck with this guy.

Lets see:

1. The heroes, the the ugly fuckers if you will have ugly hairstyles. The style got stuck somewhere in between the 80's shift to 90's with a hint of male horse's anus.

2. Moustache. Pubic hair look alike. They look awefully stupid. Im not condemning males having moustaches. Only 1 in a million will look with it. Like my dad. Others however look like they have a location crisis with their pubic hair positioning.

3. Heroines and bad miming. Because they are not Tamils but of course thats not an excuse. We dont get that shit in Hollywood. Perfection is important. Not in Indian movies though.

4. Old motherfuckers still playing the role of college student. Forever 25. More face wrinkles than zebra stripes with bellies looking like old pizzas.

5. Getting piss drunk is as easy as:
1. Pour liquor into glass
2. Bottoms up
<>
3. Put down the glass.

As you can see, they will be drunk between the action of 2 & 3. I dont get it. You can witness this shit in every other movie.

6. Fat bitches being sexy. Or at least trying. Nuff said.

7. Villans regretting their mistakes and changing to saints after a 2 minutes of gibberish motivational advice by the hero. What the fuck? He could have done it in the beginning of the movie and saved us a whole load of shit.

8. People disappearing in a blink. Dont think hard. You know that shit. Ting!

9. Bullet evading, gravity defying, somersaulting, horse riding, sliding under a trailer heroes.

10. Horrible usage of English. You you you! Rascol! Sheddap! Out i say! By the bai (wtf) nansense, country brute and so on.
11. Its fine when a man wears hot pink shirt. Usually will be America mapillai.

12. Father in laws to be are usually the villans. They are not tired of this shit yet.

13. Rich people are bad people.

14. Heroes are ugly and they are not aware of it.

15. You can get away with a murder if you are the hero. Good course mah.

16. Sex scene. If you dont wanna show boobies, dont show it at all. We dont need that shit.

17. Women who are giving birth screaming like horse-rape victims.

18. A blood donor is always needed at all times. Always turns out to be a medical miracles. The doctors dont know shit.

19. The first thug who gets whacked always hit an electric post.

20. Double role is normal. And guess what, they are not twins.

21. Heroes getting rich over a song.

22. Heroes can generate little thyphoons.

23. Heroes usually have high level of tolerence. However if he gets pissed off...

24. Wardrobe and choices of colors are unacceptable. Like they are color blind. Or retarded.

25. Cars can crash from 39 feet in air and still will be okay to drive. Fuck you.

26. Cars in tamil movies will always have alignment problem. Watch them as they steer.

27. You can see beautiful girls in jeans walking in chennai. That shit is not true. No shit. I've been there. All you get is piss smelling roads.

Out!

December

Short story

2011-08-13T21:52:00.001+08:00

#1

Cotton candy. That was the last thing in his head before the spear split his head open.

He never liked Africa since he was 6.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Tweetbot - Why this twitter client?

2011-08-10T20:39:00.004+08:00

Im not gonna write a review on a Twitter client. Okay maybe it is a review, but definitely to in depth, up your arse kind of review.

Gotta tell you this, i have not gotten so attached to an electronic device before the my iPhone. I can do pretty much anything with it, from mails to porn, also all those social shit that you guys already know about.

I chose Tweetbot over Twitter for iPhone for a couple of prominent, weighty reasons.

1) Visually appealing - yes some may say its not entirely important, mostly Android users, but as for me, a design junkie, eye candy is important, and Tweetbot UI has a different feel to it all together, making the user experience an awesome, fun one.

2) Details - the amount of details they have put together in designing this app is awesome. I cant really tell you all those shit here, try it.

3) Notifications - previously, push notification was unavailable for Tweetbot, they got it sorted few days back, plus you have an option to receive mentions notification ONLY FROM THE PEOPLE YOU FOLLOW. Good shit.

The Drawback ...its not FREE. But you can always jailbreak your ~~head~~ phone.

Now i feel like a geek. Jesus.

for more info: http://tapbots.com/software/tweetbot/

Ta.

Names. Why?

2011-08-10T00:42:00.001+08:00

Capsicum is such a cool sounding word for fuckin green peppers.

Like anchovies.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Lets deal.

2011-08-09T22:44:00.001+08:00

I noticed that something's stupidly wrong with the colors to this site.

Lets deal with it.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

#learntamil

2011-08-09T19:12:00.007+08:00

WARNING: This post might hurt you. I did not make this up. It happens around us.

And this is not the conventional Tamil spoken throughout the world, this is our Malaysian version.

I tweeted these shitload of words a couple of days ago. Though I'd compile it here too.

Here we go: -

Amaleh Ganja is Holy Shit.

Kaingeh sette is your mate is screwed up or backstabbed.

Kawa sama kawa kanji uturan means friends should help each other

Mama jama puma means | mama is uncle (you address urself as uncle) jama (your tool) puma (the feline)

Enakku muka illaiya? Means so youre not respecting me?

Enakku kainge lebat means i have shitload of friends.

Kainge ligat lah means he's one cunning mofo.

Jokucikap means your joke is so funny.

Mayrachi means aahh eff this la. Normally falls into lets do this shit context.

Un public pambaiyeh mude means shut ur stinky mouth up.

Kena tiang machi means i defeated him.

Aven senjus! Means someone who cant keep his promise. Like ffk in chinese.

Cari makan means what it means in Malay.

Senjanda Sivaji is to be used to express the grief when someone cheatednor f'd u over BIG TIME.

Sarakku means a beautiful girl.

Katthi sarakku means a very beautiful girl.

Sappeh matter means small matter dont talk about it.

Allaaamaaaahhhh means wow! You have u sustain the word for at least 6 seconds.

Kainge hidup la means he's doing good in life. Often related to financial freedom.

Semme kurang means he is damn rude or 'kurang ajar'

Karuppa irunthalum nereppu means im fire even when im black. Just to show that u r dominant even if u r extremely dark.

Kambathu saraku means girl from the hood, kampung.

Rightu vidu is used when you dont anything to say as a comeback.

Sembaruthi poo means bunga raya. (know your flowers)

Ot***da orang tua means omg he f'd us big time!

Ponneh surre machi means im very drunk bro.

Tarik kainge means friends who run car towing business or works for them. Usually notorious.

Satu hati kawa means One Love.

Surre sumbat means drunk beyond acceptable level. Pissed drunk.

Keypak means dance. Usually the folk dance performed when u r getting drunk.

Lau beds means love birds.

Ponneh bijak la nee means so you're smart? Usually in a sarcastic manner.

Tigasepuluh means a place that sells beer. 3 cans for RM10.00

Jagat means mean, notorious, gangster, tough mofo, criminal and so on along this line.

Mampululuthimambo means big shot, top dog, sick mofo.

Pacchaiya pulliya? Means carlsberg or tiger? In that order.

Kutthuvoma? Means shall we eat/dance?

Muka Jatuh means someone's in shame.

Number kainge means friends who are into organized gangsterism.

Cantik macam bunga means what it means. Literallly.

Mamamitha. I dont know what it means but usually comes with a chest beating gesture.

Nai means Guinness Stout. Literally means dog.

Bob Malek means Bob Marley.

Zettu means Yamaha RXZ. Emmu means Yamaha TZM.

Slack means someone who spoke wrongly. Provoking speech. Can be used for other situations like food. E.g food slack la.

Roku means marijuana.

See'hate means cigarette. Sometimes Seagate. (thanks Dr.Suresh)

Kira dashyat la nee? Means so youre dashyat la? Usually used in speech of provoke.

Sappi means softie.

Sargar means police. Also moottai. Meppadayan

Kalinjan means corward.

Pi-kalinjan means extreme coward. A pussy.

Puluthi kacang means a big shot wannabe or you hate.

Savadi sambar means total awesomeness. E.g heard Syze's new track? Savadi sambar!

Paati plug means .... Up to u, really.

Matti plug means a stupid person.

Pi thombu means a drum of shit. Usually used to address a real dark person.

Paan jaanhn (panjang) means a tall person.

Sayur means a weak person.

Bintang terang/cerah means to express luck. Usually when someone escapes an accident or a fight.

Bintang means drunk/high.

Rastali means...a type of banana. (complimentary, know your fruits okay?)

Balti means revert. Like karma. U know.

Solungge bang means speak up bro/dude.

Done.

Back on. For real. This time.

2011-08-09T17:24:00.001+08:00

Its like heating up a 3 year old fish curry. Just to get the aroma or shall i say just for fucks.

Come to think of it, i should have continued blogging from where it was left unattended. Is that a right word? Okay, point ; i am all mobile now, so i can write senseless, your mom offending stuffs once again. Will post something on Indians tonight. Its always fun.

Fun.

Out.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Shall start spitting back?

2010-10-03T00:56:00.007+08:00

WARNING: Im back. Bleh

Fucking hell its been ages since i read a book or the fucking newspaper. And i'm not gonna say i did not have the time, maybe i'm just more ignorant, oblivious and older now. I was thinking of starting back my blogging shit since this is a great way to channel your frustration towards the humanity, old hags, disco kitties, and ugly illegal immigrants. The question is, where shall i start, or better still how?

Fuck. Seriously im out of ideas on what to write. I practically verbally abused and damaged 1.2 million people plus random objects when i was actively ~~spanking~~ blogging like some 4 years ago. Did i say spank? Ooh.

FOUR FUCKIN YEARS.

Somebody shoot me.

Maybe you shouldn't. Right, so getting back to the point where i halted. I halted? Is that correct? Some English Whiz, please correct me if I'm not. But i think, if think hard enough, theres like at least 6 million newly popped shit that i can rant about since i stopped 3-4 years ago. Let me get back to my sense and start on something intersting on the next post.

I am not sure if i have readers now.

I used to. And i miss them.

I miss the color red.

So get ready people (if there's any la). Im gonna start fucking the universe soon. That's all for now.

OUT!

p/s: Darshini, this is for you.

What has changed?

2009-03-31T15:27:00.005+08:00

I have been caught up with some tremendous amount of work. Both restaurant and designs, so you know...i havent really got a decent time to blog about something ~~decent~~ indecent like always do, once upon a time.

Fuck, i think im aging.

Anyway, being a little observent nowadays, i came to see alot of fucking irritating characters walking in human form, born without fuckin brains. People who live with monkey crotch on their head instead of brains. I will elaborate this separetely on a new post real soon.

What has changed?
Nothing much, really.

Tamil movies still suckin eggs, moustached motherfuckers still dancing for no fuckin reason.

I have gotten myself a faster car now. But what the fuck, how fast can you go with ladies on the road. Gaah.

I work my ass off 7 days a week now. No off, no movies, no green peppers.

Im still waiting to shave a monkey and set it on fire. Anyone's with me?

No blogging resources are limited. Help!

Earth hour was really pointless propaganda. ~~Lets see if they have bra hour..like you know..take it off for an hour.~~ @.@

Chinese boys still have parrotheads.

Indians Machas have obsessions over sling bags and cheap mango pickles now.

Politics...sheesh. Let it be for now.

That was my time. Good luck, motherfuckers.

Oh yea, to my fellow designers, im working on Rabbit Mac of PSYCHO.unit's album cd cover and inlay design. Will pop it up once it up for the release.

Out!

Fuck you terrorists.

2008-12-04T00:04:00.003+08:00

A woman cries, during a candlelight march for the victims of the Mumbai terrorist attack in which more than 195 people were killed, in Mumbai, India, Saturday, Nov. 29, 2008. (AP Photo/Altaf Qadri) #

---

God bless the rest.

..

2008-09-29T04:38:00.000+08:00

HELP!

Woohooo!!! not.

2008-09-06T15:20:00.002+08:00

She's married now. I felt everything around me was meaningless for a moment.

Then i continued tracing maps in my Illustrator CS3, guess life goes on eh?

Gooday!

Cats

2008-08-26T23:47:00.003+08:00

WARNING: ...cats

All the females felines near my office area are either pregnant or ....pregnant.

I suppose there's one motherfuckin horny male cat goin around here on a mission everyday.

Good day.

Fucking Claypot Chicken Rice.

2008-08-23T01:50:00.003+08:00

WARNING: A post driven by tonnes of frustration towards technology, humanity, and claypot chicken rice.

Yesterday, my work had to stall for a bit, wait, not for a bit, for about three quarter throughout the day because my fuckin Illustrator CS3 installed on my office PC failed on me graciously for some prominent apparent reason which was, it was not registered coz the bloody crack refused to work due to PMS or whatsofuckin ever at the first place. Yes, its a pirate copy, because using licensed software in Malaysia is like practicing voodoo. No one does it nowadays, if at all you do, you're an ugly ~~bitch~~ witch.

So, yes i was very frustrated, so i headed to Summit USJ, a place without any enforcement towards the pirated softwares, dvd's, handful of ghostly Indons and more, and happily bought a DVD called Adobe CS3 Master Collection (it wasnt packaged like what the picture potrays, you know). It was 12 bucks, pretty expensive if you ask me. Then i was a happy man. I headed back office and was drooling before i could install them and make full use on the RM12 investment.

So i started the installation process, the time was approxiametly 2330. Before the set up begin, it showed an error message, at this point i knew its gonna be a hell of night to get this shit work right, and it was one hell of a night. I wanted to kill the very next cat that crosses my view.

I had no choice but to seek help. See, in the surrounding 1.5 km of my office lot area, at that time, you can only find foreigners, Burmese, Bangla fuckholes, Indon, Vijayacunt fans and other unidentified race of people. So i cant seek help from these bunch of idiotic motherfuckers. Period. I did what we do the best, Google that shit up, and i found out that in order to install the master collection, i will need to remove all the existing Adobe softwares and its shared components. So i did, at this point i was taking a great risk, simply coz after removing these shit, and the new installer failed to work, you would've seen my face on the newspaper for setting a block of offices on fire, with kerosene. Petrol is so expesive these days.

Finally it did work after 3 attemps of installation, and the process ended at 0430 which resulted me being late for the next day of work, and evetually slowed pretty much everything down towards the day. Thanks to Adobe's weird way of getting their shit in your machine, but really i shouldnt be complaining, coz it was only 12 bucks.

-----------

Earlier today, like 11pm, i found myself in the middle of Dubai strip (also known as Jln Bukit Bintang) wearing 3 quarter pants, and selipar Jepun, with an old tshirt and rape scene like hair, which i wouldnt wanna bother explaining why.

So i went to meet a client right, beside federal hotel, it was this oriental chill out bar, so i went there and swtiched on my laptop to show them my design drafts, but this time the fuckin DELL fucked my in the brains by not working properly, i reboot the system about 3 times and finally got it working. And then, the clients decided to shift the location.

So i had to walk to other part of the street with my lap top turned on and opened throught out the journey to the other side, i had to cross the road and shit with alot of people around. I explained to you how i looked already, plus here comes the retarded act of bringing an opened laptop around. I swear i felt like a jackass, or a junkie who just got lucky by stealing some Turkish guy's laptop.

Might taste like cat poo

We headed to the claypot chicken rice shop in Jln Alor, the chair was wet, the table was wet, there i was holding the laptop and the optical mouse didnt work properly either. But i pretty much settled things up and headed back home and here i am blogging after a long time. I wonder if anyone still reads my posts. Yes or no, im prolly blogging for myself.

On an unrelated issue, my readers prolly will remember a post about 'she' about 2 years back. Some of you know we eventually dated for sometime, and that girl, the person once i loved the most, is getting married next month.

I feel pretty lost. Guess thats why im blogging.

Out!
d.

Women - drivers from HELL

2008-06-13T03:36:00.006+08:00

WARNING: Profanity at its best as always.
Emotionally driven whining for equal driving rights girls will not be entertained.
Webcam strippers are welcomed.

Women drivers are worst form of creatures from hell that you can ever witness on the road with your naked eyes, next to highway crossing airheaded banglas and indons, we'll leave the fuckin immigrants for now. One of many bad things that happened in the world is the idea of allowing women on the road. The greatest mistake of the millennium.

Women should take cabs.

Women cant drive. Period. No matter whatever fuck they gotta say..they just cant fuckin drive properly. Things women drivers do that pisses the fuck outta me in less than 0.24 seconds as follows :-

1. Its either they dont or they over use the signal/indicators. Sometimes they just take the turn without warning. Think about the banglas who died due to this stupid no indicator syndrome.

2. Have you seen these young mothers who drive to fetch the little idiots off the school? Have you seen them all geared up? Yes, those long sleeved shirt worn the other way around, sunglasses, HAT!? wtf @#$. They have more gears on than mongolian rock climbers and your next door Indian plumber.

3. Why do women drive beamers? Its a disgrace, to both the car and humanity.

4. Women stop at roundabouts to give way to others to come in. NO! Thats so wrong.

5. They can perfectly fit fuckin contact lenses on the eyes with nothing going wrong, but cant park a small ass car in a big parking that could fit a motorboat ,a couple banana trees, and a complimentary bangla.

6. Women complain about their cars not having enough pick up. There will be 2 scenarios for this one. One, its a 650cc Kancil, so...there wont be any pick up for this 3 pistoned motorbike engined crap. Second, they complain there's no pick up after driving 60km with the handbrakes on.

7. They dont really know the law. Let me tell you what happened a couple of years back. I was in a terrible mood and banged a women's car that was in front of me. Any idiot should know what it was my mistake coz i banged it from the back. Woot! /shy. Anyway it was a turning to the left to the main road..so yes i banged her car. And i stopped my car to settle the issues with her, she stopped for a few seconds and she she just sped away. She ran away. Maybe you can say she was afraid of me or some shit..the thing is i was still in the car and i dont think so its so visible to see me in the car coz it was quite a distance. I proceed by chasing her on the highway and overtook her but she did not even look. She was running. I dont know why that happened. Prolly shes just plain stupid.

Women should not drive. Never ever. Just be cool and let the guys drive you around. And you dont have to take off you shoes to drive anymore.

Here's a complimentary kucing pic.

out.

Eyecandy at its best

2008-06-13T01:19:00.004+08:00

Im loving my browser to the bones. Been using Opera Web Browser for more than a year now, and its getting better, Version 9 was just released. Eyecandy user interface cant get any better than this. Gone were the fuckin days when i used to browse with Internet Explorer, technically the worst browser anyone can ever get theirs hand on. I vaguely remember how it looks line, i remember the monkey that bit my sister in Penang years ago better. Opera is seriously a sexy browser. R0X0rZ mY b0x0Rzz!! wtf.

Well, download Opera if you're sick and tired of both IE and Mozilla.

Gah!

2008-06-09T02:17:00.001+08:00

A big hairy turban'ed Singh kissed me on the forehead yesterday for no apparent reason.

Im traumatized.

Help.

The Dog

2008-05-05T23:25:00.002+08:00

Well, sometimes you're the dog,

and sometimes you're the hydrant.

Which one is you?

Im the hydrant right now.

out.

Angkasawan - Beruk Malaysia Pertama di Angkasa

2007-11-27T13:15:00.000+08:00

WARNING: Profanity, what else? *coughs* Old news, yes...but baru ada masa

Allright, cut the rat's balls. Angkasawan literally translated ; Astronaut.

Let me get this straight, these bunch of monkeys arent fuckin astronauts,they're space participants. They just participate, like i did in Sukan Tahunan when i was 10, had to run with an egg on the spoon for a couple of metres with no apparent reason. So yes, i participated, so are these idiots, they are participating in the space program. You cant fuckin be the camel when youre riding on it, camel is camel, youre just participating on the camel ride.
Whatever..

Its fine for a Malaysia to be in space, but whats the fuss about? Whats the hoo haa? They paid the Russians some 100 million ringgit, and a couple of cheese blocks, and wow! these idiots are in the rocket. Not enough of boasting the program stupidly, these monkeys are actually gonna play batu seremban, paint batik on hairy russian's ass, eat fuckin dodol, and play gasing on the fellow russians bald head. Similar stupidity such as this can be found practiced in the 13th & 17th level of hell as well. We Malaysians have a fetish for potraying the country and the people as imbecils.

Whats next on the list? Send Orang Utans to the space? Angkasawan Beruk Pertama? place some belacans on a submarine and kill the rest of the crew in 3 seconds flat? Make Ramly burgers under eiffel tower?

USE THE FUCKIN MONEY FOR SOMETHING ELSE, like close all the potholes in all the states. Its the peoples money, they dont send taxes to send these morons to space and do some totally irrelevent acts. Im sure by now the Russians think we are just some people living on trees getting all excited to take a ride onto te space.

Afterall i think they are just innocent duo who wants to experience the space. Thats not a bad thing.

I hope they get lost in the black hole.

On another issue, Proton is coming up with Muslim cars, owh, a great effort, prolly should concentrate on coming up with 'cars' first. Right now we have toys.
These cars gonna have a compartment for Al Quran and also a compass pointing kiblat. I wont comment anything here, you know what im trying to say, im sure.

I hope next they have a Hindu car too, a compartment for coconuts, and a medium sized slide in compartment for parang, to slaughter you know who.

Good day Malaysians.

Hindraf Gathering - Jln Ampang, 25th November 2007

2007-11-25T23:05:00.000+08:00

The revolution begins today..

"Paandiya mannavan solan panivarai

Painthu kalaikkiya sera magan

Eendru mudidtha kulatthil elunthanan

Yeda tamizha, eduda padai

Koonde kilinilai ethanai naal varai?

Kupidu kupidu veerargalai

Aande paramparai, meendum oru murai

Aala ninaippathil enna kurai?"

December's Photography Blog

2007-07-11T00:37:00.000+08:00

Here it is!

http://shutterpusher.blogspot.com/

Visit la if can. Thanks

Mona Lisa Needed a Facelift

2007-06-07T02:26:00.000+08:00

Oh yes , she did.

Photoshop CS, 20 mins.
Click image for larger view, punk.

Loga of Alleycats passes away

2007-06-05T20:23:00.000+08:00

Loga of Alleycats passes away

PENANG: Loganathan Arumugam of the Alleycats passed away at 10.50am Monday at the Mount Miriam Hospital here. He was 54.

Loga, as he was fondly called, was admitted to the hospital on Saturday. He was diagnosed with lung cancer eight months ago.

“He had been having a very bad cough for a year,” said his elder brother David, 57, also of Alleycats fame.

Loga was married, with a 23-year-old son and a 20-year-old daughter. He provided vocals and played the flute for the band.

The Alleycats, formed here in 1969, had recorded 29 albums. The group started by playing in clubs around the country before signing a recording deal with PolyGram Records in 1978.

A great artist, outstanding musician, a very down to earth person. You'll be missed by fans and the music industry.

Maha Mrityunjaya Mantra

Om trayambakam yajaamahe sugandhim pushtivardhanam
Urvaarukamiva bandhanaan mrityor muksheeya maamritaat.

O Supreme light, lead us from untruth to truth, from darkness to light and from death to immortality.

Sarvam Shivamayam.

May his soul reast in peace.

What's happened to December?

2007-05-09T21:39:00.000+08:00

WARNING : Life oriented post, as if you buggers even care.

"What's new?", people ask me, well I ~~haven't shaved my beard for a month~~ found where's the jack (correct spelling?) in the boot after almost one fucking year. Ridiculous? You bet.

I've been just existing a lot lately. Doin what i do the best. Haven't done any reading for a couple of months now. I'm not really bothered anyway.

Anyway, recent issues, that's not directly related to me. It is about the racial insult or utter stupidity or a sarcastic remark on our Indian students overseas by this dude who's apparently the Minister of Science & Technology, YAB Jamaluddin Jarjis. I've never heard of him, have you? Man, all of a sudden, every Indian is so angry, they feel insulted and yada yada yada.

I'd say, cut the crap fuckholes. Indians are the biggest fucking hypocrites.

Lets face it, we dug our own grave. Put it this way, he did nothing more than merely mentioning what WE have been practicing for ages. Caste system is fundamentally fucked, get that sorted and we'll never get racial remarks from some random ~~bugger~~ dude anymore. I read somewhere that he finally apologized for his smartass action, but then again, whats the fuckin' point? Not that we Indians gonna quit practicing it. Anyway it was not wise for the minister to say that anyway, i dont deny the fact that he's wrong and pretty shallow minded. And racial harmony is like that spastic looking Lochness monster, you've heard of it, but you'll never see it. Racial harmony in ~~Malasiya~~ Malaysia is bullshit. Period. Lets not get to democracy. Leave the weed smoking monkeys alone.

Nessie, owh crap.

hearts

2007-04-19T03:06:00.000+08:00

"my heart glowed when it felt you, and it hadn't stopped ever since" (",)

I heart you. =)

Bistro

2007-03-06T22:58:00.000+08:00

bis·tro [bis-troh; Fr. bee-stroh] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation

–noun, plural bis·tros [bis-trohz; Fr. bee-stroh] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation.

1.	a small, modest, European-style restaurant or café.

2.	a small nightclub or restaurant.

American Heritage Dictionary - Cite This Source bis·tro (bē'strō, bĭs'trō) Pronunciation Key
n. pl. bis·tros

A small bar, tavern, or nightclub.
A small, informal restaurant serving wine.

Right...

T Rajendar - An Indian Ape.

2007-02-17T20:22:00.000+08:00

WARNING: Merciless post, profanity, and if you appear to be a fan of him, i have no fuckin comments.

T.Rajendar, actor, director, music composer, singer.
Do not click for a larger image. DONT do it. No!

Constipated ape. Simbu.

Shit. I dont fuckin know where the fuck to start. These guys, both father and son are ridiciously stupid, slighty smarter than a bag of fuckin potatoes. The dad entered the cinema industry somewhere in the 70's or was it the 80's, we dont really care, do we? And he succesfully made a fool out of himself right then, he i dont think he's gonna quit anytime soon. He has pubic hair up on his face, ever since the 80's. The son, all new actor, succesful and obviously on par with his dad's stupidity. Lets start somewhere shall we?

Subject: T Rajendar

Everything about him is stupid, and quite out of the world. I mean seriously watching tamil movies is like watching a fantasy show, everything seem to possible, we all get that, yes, but this dude tries to push it to the furthest limit and make himself look ~~like big potato~~ ridiculously stupid. Its like watching an ape doing some massive stunt shit and it talks. Oh yeah, he dances like a sack of sand being rolled on the ground, with massive drum beats to add the spiciness that never exist.

He has funny shit way of talking, our own Cypress Hill. He can rhyme, thats how he talks, like fuckin rap. And it doesnt make sense most of the time, but we'll watch for the fun of it anyway. And i dont get it, how he is not finding himself stupid till this very date. Millions of people cant be wrong about him. The fact his, his movies are downright annoying, no sense of entertainment, stupid fuckin sentiments, most of the time sister and some dogs, unbelievable dance scenes and out of the world marvel like fighting scene.

My blog's representative (yet again) Codename: 'Dood' managed to spend a quality moment with this potato. Here's the interview :-

Dood: Hello ~~fuckface~~ T R sar! Good to see you!
TR : ~~Vaada machi, valakka bajji~~ Have you watched Veerasamy yet? Good evening too.

Dood: ~~WTF~~ So tell us sar, how's your Veerasamy movie going? Smooth?
TR: YES! alot of people like it so far, most choose not to watch it and do something more productive like vomit, but i take it as a challenge to prove them wrong. Im pure ~~ape~~ talent in human form.

Dood: Sure you are, fuckface, oops i mean sir
TR: Hahahah, my mom and fans call me that. *nods*

Dood: o.O I see. How nice. How do you judge your son Simbu's acting.
TR: Manmadhan, no one can judge him.

Dood: Right. So what do you have to say about the picture of your son kissing his ex girlfriend in a hotel thats circulating heavily over the net?
TR: Photoshopped.

Dood: No sir its not, Photoshop cant generate something that looks so stupid. Thats not a manipulated picture.
TR: Hahahahahaha. I see.

Dood: Hmm..? Erm. Nevermind. Thanks for your time, do you have anything to say to your fans?
TR: Kaathalo mundre ezhuthu, athu amaivatho..... *Dood breaks TR's head with a hammer and sends him to grave*

About the kissing picture. Here it is :-

It's just a damn kiss caught on lens intentionally not a big deal, true. We have fuckers snapping themselves screwing anything that moves, like snails, nowadays. But this is a huge mistake. Let me tell you why.

India and indias, they live by their own set of rules and perceptions. Once, a North India originated South Indian actress ~~Kosu~~ Kushboo said its allrite to have sex before marriage. She got pretty good responds from the public too. Like throwing fuckin slippers at her house. I mean its an individual choice to have or not to have sex before marriage or after marriage, nowadays its more like before puberty itself. But existing in a society made up by orthodox families, this picture sure to make it big in India and ruin Simbu's already fucked career (if thats what he call it). One thing about TR, acting aside, he seems to be a very decent man, he doesnt touch the actress in his movies and he looks up upon the females. He still have my respect for that.

And Simbu is a tribe in Papua New Guinea. That explains so much doesnt it?

Fact : No one got hurt in the midst of the post

For CJ

2007-02-07T22:47:00.000+08:00

WARNING: OMFGIDONTKNOWWHATTHEFUCKTOSAY

There you go CJ. Something amusing eh? Enjoy.

God is Dead

2006-12-20T03:15:00.000+08:00

WARNING: Atheism, not to offend anyone though, read it as a humor article, if you still find it offensive, go look up 'Mongolian throat singing" in Google. Sigh

God is Dead.
by deviantkupo.

God's robes flapped around him as he looked over the edge and onto the street below.

"Don't do it! Don't do it!" cried the security guard behind him.

God said nothing, climbing onto the raised edge of the building. Five storeys below, people were beginning to take notice.

"Jesus Christ! Look!
"Oh my god!"
"Where's my camera?"

He turned and faced the security guard, who stopped walking and gazed upon the face of God. He'd been crying.

"But... why? You've got so much to live for..."

God gave a wan smile. "So have all of you."

He spread his arms wide, closed his eyes and breathed a deep sigh, falling back and off the building.

* * *

A crowd was gathering around the black, sticky mess that remained of What-Once-Was Our Lord.

“Is he dead?”
“Who is it?”
“Where's my camera?”

The bystander effect was operating at maximum efficiency, causing everyone to just stand there and looked at the mangled remains. Presently, however, a fine upstanding citizen in the form of a drunk medical student staggered onto the scene.

“Ourra th'way... I'm a doctor y'know...” he mumbled, pushing through the crowd. Upon seeing God, most of his insides now more accurately described as his outsides, made him choke back a sob. Even atheists can recognise God.

He gingerly took a few steps forward, beyond the threshold of the crowd. Being as the inner circle was defined by the pool of blood, his going was not easy. He slipped on something and landed face down. The crowd gasped.

He pushed himself up with his arms. “Shokay. I'm okay, folks,” he declared. “He's okay, everybody.”

With that, he placed a hand on God's neck and felt for a pulse. The crowd leaned in as he waited. One should never underestimate the stupidity of crowds.

“My... my god...” said the medical student, standing up, “he's dead!”

“My god!”
“This is terrible!”
“Where's my camera?”
A voice from the back said, “I don't believe you!”

Others in the crowd took up the idea that the medical student was wrong.

“Yeah, what do you know?”
“Who asked you?”
The medical student raised his hands. “Please, everyone, I'm a doctor.”

His equally drunk friend had managed to navigate his way through the door and outside.

“'E's norra doctor! 'E's a student!”

“A student?” the crowd gasped. “What do students know?”

While the two drunk students exchanged insults about whose mother had slept with who, a small man pressed through the crowd. He saw the body (and a lot more besides) and turned to someone next to him.

“Who is it?” he asked. “He looks familiar.”

“It's... it's God.”

“What? Preposterous!” He then suddenly stepped into the circle and removed his coat, throwing it with a flourish into the crowd. It revealed an even smaller man with a traditional priestly dog collar. He subtly brushed a few crumbs from his front and then addressed the crowd.

“As a man of the cloth, I am educated in these matters and I can say that, if this is God, there will be some sign to mark his passing.”

The security guard on the roof wailed as the full implications of what had happened came to him. He threw his head back and wailed, a mixture of anger, sadness, regret and a developing chest infection.

“Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaooooooooo onnnooooooooooooooooo,” he wailed.

On the street below, the entire crowd looked up. The guard had fallen over and was lying on the roof, so they saw nothing. After the noise had stopped, they looked at the priest.

A little taken aback, he said, “Oh dear.”

The crowd stood in a respectful silence, all looking at the remains of God scattered across the pavement. There was a quiet banging noise and a second storey window slid open.

“Ha!” a man cried, leaning out. “Ha ha ha!”

The man was “Mad Legs” Morris. He was called “Mad Legs” because he had no legs, so the logic presumably resided in the fact his legs were off somewhere doing something mad. He was leaning out of the window, cackling.

“So, your God is dead! Christianity is over! What's the new state religion gonna be, eh?!” he cried. He was waving a small stick.

The crowd grumbled into life.

“Oh, er, I dunno, hmm.”
“Well, I hadn't thought about that.”
“I'd need to ask her indoors.”
“Some bastard's stolen my camera!”

“Ha!” Mad Legs cackled some more, “I'll tell you what you need! Islam!”

The crowd seemed to like this idea.

“Hmm, sounds good to me.”
“It's well established, should be good.”
“Change is good as a rest!”
“I've got plenty of towels at home.”
“That bastard! He's got it! Look! Hey, you!”

Cars were stopping on the road and the crowd was expanding. Those at the back were asking what was going. By now, people who hadn't even seen the body believed God was dead. A police siren was heard in the distance.

“Whoa whoa whoa whoa!” shouted a man, running up to the crowd. He was carrying a ladder, which leant against the wall and quickly climbed.

“There are far better religions!” he proclaimed, “Such as Hinduism!”

The crowd was less receptive to this idea.

“I dunno, I quite like beef.”
“Seems a bit dodgy to me.”
“Hmm,” pondered the medical student, “which religion offers the most free beer?”

The Hindu on the ladder gaped in disbelief. “Er... religion isn't about beer, it's about...”
“A free drink every holiday!” cried Mad Legs.

The crowd went wild.

“Wh-what?!” cried the Hindu, “Since when was that an Islamic tradition?!”
“Since now, loser!” laughed Mad Legs.

“A free drink every Saturday!” came a voice. There was a man dressed in orange robes, out of breath. He leaned against the lamppost and, when people started looking at him, leapt onto a raised flower bed.

“That's right! A free drink every Saturday! Join Theravada Buddhism today! Good karma and great times!”

A few people started clapping. The Hindu slowly started climbing down the ladder.

“Two drinks every Saturday!” countered Mad Legs.
“Free drinks all night!”
“Free drinks and a blow job!”

The crowd turned to Mad Legs.

“What about the women?”
Mad Legs pondered this for a moment. “Male escorts!”
The crowd cheered and started clapping, drowning out the Buddhists offer of all you can drink any day and personal sex slaves.

The Hindu started walking away, carrying his ladder. He sighed, turned the corner and walked past a Shintoist who was beating a Zen Buddhist with a bacon sandwich. The irony was not lost on him.

He dropped his ladder and headed into a bar. It was all but empty, most people had run outside when they sensed God had just died. One man, however, was sat at the bar. The Hindu sat next to him.

“Rough day?” said the man, sliding a beer to the Hindu.
“Yeah,” he said, looking across at him. “You Christian?”
The man laughed bitterly. “Sort of.”
“Well, not any more.”
They both took a deep drink, the man leaning over the bar to fill up his drink.

They sat in silence for a while, watching ice cubes melt.

“Must be tough, having your God die.”
“Not as bad as having your dad die,” said Jesus, making a grab for some peanuts.
“Oh... I'm sorry.”
“Nah, it's okay. He did what he had to do. This was meant to be freedom, y'know? Religion was messing things up. But... look at it.”

Jesus pointed out of the window. The Hindu looked, seeing people running past. Someone was pushing a wheelbarrow with a Shinto shrine rattling inside. Bottles of vodka were leant against it.

A police car screamed past, followed by a TV van.

“No ambulances,” said Jesus, “funny that.”
“What's going to happen?”
“Probably a few wars, both holy and TV ratings wise. After that, depends who wins.”
The Hindu took a sip. “God meant for this to happen?”
Jesus laughed. “Nah. I told him it would happen, but he wouldn't listen. He trusts too much in his creation. He believed they'd do the right thing.”
“The right thing?"
"Yeah. With no religion, there'd be no war, right? That was the theory, anyway."
The Hindu frowned. "Didn't work, did it?"
"Like I said, too much faith in his creation. Now me," said Jesus, pointing his thumb as his chest, "I know what humanity's all about."

Outside, someone started screaming, “I AM JESUS. I AM THE MESSIAH!”

In the bar, the real Jesus took a swig from a bottle of vodka, poured the rest into his glass and smashed the bottle against the bar.

“Right,” he said, “guess I've gotta go. Try to be nice.”
“To everyone?” said the Hindu.
“Nothing applies everywhere,” said Jesus, with a wry smile. He turned and began walking out of the bar.

"No teachings are absolute!" he cried, waving his crude weapon, "Wisdom lies in drawing the line!"

And with that, he disappeared into the crowd to murder the fake Jesus.

“Been nice talking to you!” shouted the Hindu after him. “Good luck!”

In what counted as the afterlife, Vishnu nudged God.

“Fucked up, didn't you?”
God buried his head in his hands. “Shit.”

Two wandering spirits walked by them, one passing a small amount of money to the other.
“Told you,” said Nietzsche.

The unexplained bits in Tamil movies.

2006-12-02T02:59:00.000+08:00

WARNING: Very disturbing, unless you think like me. Dont be a sensetive tamil poet and bitch. Profanity as always.

Hello world. Vanakkam, im a ~~chimp~~ pimp

Allrite, I'm proud to be an Indian. Period. But as we all fucking know that most Tamil movies annoys the crap out of everybody. New born babies would die of shock looking at the ~~shithole~~ face showed above on a 29 inch TV. Its freakin suicidal. To start with, most movies and the plot doesnt make any fucking sense. They dont make movies about war, airplane crash or even midgets and their miserable lives. Subject is always LOVE. That's already a big turn off for most people, i mean, how much love oriented plots can you take?

So for now, we shall look at the terms they use in their scripts.
Fuck the spelling, its the heavy accent. They speak like they constantly being fed with bananas.

1. Owh mai gawd, yits yeh medical mirakkell. (literally translates to : Oh my God, its a medical miracle)
Everything is magic. Beat that Hollywood. You'll have this dude stabbed 42 times and soaked in sewage water for 72 hours, and yet he survives. How you ask? They simply slap you with the dialogue above. Once, twice is allrite, out of 10 movies, you'll hear this in about almost half of it. Inexplicably stupid? You tell me.

2. Bai the bai (literally translates to : by the way)
How the fuck? I dont fuckin no, serious shit. Thats how they say it. In ALL movies.

3. yevery daag has yits dei (literally translates to :every dog has its day)
Imagine saying that to someone from Malaysia. I bet that dude gonna bash your face like a pork pie.

4.Char-less (literally translates to : charles)
Like we all say it..charles, they say it as char-less. There's no explanation for this, even under laboratory conditions.

5. Curses : Raskol, yidiot, you you you, you blardee, shit!, tell me you motherfugger (literally translates to : rascal, idiot, you you you, you bloody, shit! tell me you motherfucker)

The first 5, you can hear the women saying in ALL movies. The last one surprisingly appeared in Kuruthi Punal, Kamal Haasan's movie in the mid 90's. Serious shit. I wonder whats with the you you you. They do it all the time when the heroin is irritated with the hero, but he'll be the guy who marries her eventually. Bingo!

Thats all i can think of now. If you have more, post it ~~undergarments~~ under the comments. Or just sit and bitch about this whole post.

Good day raskols. :)

Genetic Engineering

2006-09-21T10:50:00.000+08:00

WARNING : Gross.

Look at this shit, this fuckhole looks uglier than most illegal immigrants.

Hello world. Sorry for not blogging for quite a bit (as if you guys even bother,ergh), i wasnt really tied up with projects or sumthing, just been pure lazy, had this sudden obsession of watching fucking plants and potatoes grow. Nevermind that, so yea im back with more nonsense for the bored soul.

I visited a site (link), apparently the sell Bioengineered products, a pet that looks like half retarded, tailess, furless possum. Its fucking freaky at first, but i didnt quite believe it, but looking at the detailed content of the website, which also appeare to be professional, my poor mind was actually starting to believe it, its very convincing, trust me. After i Googled about it, it appeared to be an Art Project. So its hoax from the science perspective of it, but its pure genius as for concept as an artist. Read this once youre done reading the first link. According to the artist, it was just a mega project to see how would people react towards genetic engineering, as for me, i got brainfucked for a bit because

1. The creature is so freaky, i dont see a reason to call it a pet, the moment you see it moving, i swear i wanna whack the shit outta that little fucker fella.
2. It looks like a toyol.
3. Its just fugly, like bluek.
4. It's against God's will (well not quite for me) on a general perception.
5. ~~It's a Rowan Atkinson fetishist~~

So this shit got me thinking, if we have full control over genetic engineering, we can make cool shit stuff out of the technology, correct me if im wrong, im no biology savvy. If only we could mix and match animals in the future, it'll be fun, like fuckin fun. You log on to a site, get your arse registered and start making little freaky buggers by mix matching various species of animals. Give it a week for them to engineer it, get it collected and voila! A new species named after your grandmother or call it 'my little freaky potatofuckface' for that matter.

Lets see what we can make out of this 'dream on' technology.

Dugk
Ingredients :
1/4 dog
3/4 duck

Characteristics/Physical appearance : Looks like a duck, just like a normal duck in your chinese granpa's house, but it barks and bites juicy robber's arses. Ideal for guarding and fooling crooks.

Fishcat
Ingredients :
1/4 fish
3/4 cat

Characteristics/Physical appearance : Normal cat with fish tail, damn this gonna be fun watching it trying to eat its own tail thinking its a fish, retarded as fuck. Now thats one BIG indentity crisis. This is pure fun, ideal for weed smoking monkeys to laugh at.

Indonapes

1/2 Homosapien (human; an Indonesian male)
1/2 Pongo pygmaeus (orangutan)

Characteristics/Physical appearance: Thats not gonna make much difference, does it? Next!

Manparrot

1/2 Parrot (for colors)
1/2 Homosapien

Characteristics/Physical appearance: And again i dont think this is really necessary, we have Chinese ah bengs with hair colored like fuckin parrots, love to shoot one of those rare species.

Thats all i could think of now, drop a comment on your ideal engineered creatures.

Out!

Oooops!

2006-09-01T18:57:00.000+08:00

A yeti.

Site on hiatus till further notice. Cheers

Out!

Idiots and their idealogies.

2006-08-15T12:51:00.000+08:00

WARNING: Direct discrimination, and I dont care.

Yeap, i wanted to blog about this for a long time, but then i was thinking what if it provokes individuals to whack the daylight out ot me, on second thought, i dont really care about these idiots. So, let us take a closer step (not too close, you might get influenced) into a few group of people and their idealogies which i think is really pathetic, its just a personal perception, if you're one of them and youre offended, just close the window and go bake a cake instead, because life is always unfair. :)

Indians - the typical machans
Lets see what these buggers are like :-

Heroism is the ultimate satisfaction, so they're into gang fights, extortion and some small ass pathetic crimes like stealing beer crates and assaulting Indons (the last one good.
None of them passed form 5
Ex-5 motorcycle is the best ride
Dressed most of the time in marroon shirt and some irrelevant baggy pants which has trims of red,green,yellow colors on it. Yes, they have got nothing to do with the Marley generation, nor the Rastafarian culture.
Head tilted about 30 degrees up when they walk, always holding a helmet, which again has a sticker of those above mentioned colors.
Always move in a group, hard to recognize a particular individual sometimes, buggers look all the same.
Talks in tamil + malay, often uses the word 'bang' (abang) in the end of every sentence. Even God wouldnt know why.
Womanisers, drundkards, gamblers, criminals, but RELIGIOUS. I dont see the point, really. They wear vibuthi, and kum kum on the forehead at all times. It signifies, Im ganas, but i'm always afraid of God, or God is with me, or I pray alot ladies, or sometimes, I'm just plain stupid. They infest the temples sometimes, with made up innocent faces.
Oh yeah, how can i forget, the moustache. "Meesai vetchathaa ambeleh" which literally translates to "You're a male only when you have moustache" What the fuck, yeap.

They disturb girls on the road, in a very irritating manner, like whistling. Its tamil movies. Sigh

Few artsist that they know, Dr Alban, Michael Jackson, and Bob Marley.

Cars, modified in a very disturbing way, like its full of lights and a sticker that end with "Guyz" on the windscreen, eg. "Natpukaga Guys" (Friendship Guys) >.< Eyesore most of the time.

They think Dr Cardin is a foreign brand.

The emphasize on frienship so much, but backstabs most of the time. Bravo!

Enough of my people, lets move to the others

Ah Bengs (chinese machans)

Their dressing is out of the world. Period

They all have blonde hair.

They wear pink.

There's this absolute fetish over cute things, like little dolls, japanese anime dolls, freaking kittens,teddy bears

They love to popularize dumb songs like Crazy Frog, what the fuck is up with that?

They drive cars that look stupid, like Honda City, and there'll be stickers everywhere.

They never shut up, regardless the place, situation and so on. They talk ALL the time.

They think Hello Kitty is absolutely adorable, that pathetic kitten. Argh

Ok enough of them.

Malays (malay machans)
Allrite, i dont wanna hit ISA (Internal Security Act, not the prophet). Good Day.
Freedom of speech, democracy, LOL, my arse.

Bazement.net

2006-08-11T12:22:00.000+08:00

Pass this word around, a favor for a friend of mine Kugan aka Funktionz.

" Just want to inform you that www.the-bazement.com is now known as www.bazement.net "

*Bazement.net, formerly known as the-Bazement.com was launched five years ago and till' today remains the largest news portal of the Malaysian hip hop scene providing you with updates and information on the hip hop community in Malaysia.

Out!

Bye Shoutbox.

2006-08-09T16:09:00.000+08:00

I've been monitoring the bloody shoutbox for quite sometime now, apparently some idiot/idiots just love to flood it with irrelevant phrases such as using my nick and posting stupid stuff, also using nicknames like oneweek, days in tamil, plus other months like November and September, which obviously annoyed me alot. So, there, i have decided to remove it for good since its being misused to potray your stupidity. A little humor and insults is fine, not complete hanging phrases with no identity slapped onto it.
Rule is simple, if you've got nothing to say, just shut the fuck up.

For the rest who has got nothing to do with the shoutbox, happy reading! New posts soon, real soon. :)

BLOGGERS BEWARE

2006-08-04T14:42:00.000+08:00

WARNING : Central Stupidity.

PM: Those who spread untruths on the Net will be detained

KUALA TERENGGANU: The Prime Minister has issued a warning – those who spread untruths and slander on the Internet will face the law.

If information in blogs, websites and online portals were incorrect, bordered on slander, caused disturbance or compelled the public to lose faith in the nation’s economic policies, their authors would be detained for investigation, said Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi.

“We cannot allow such matters to flow through uncontrolled,” he told newsmen after attending a briefing on the proposed Islamic Civilisation Park in [...]

So what's next? Filters on surfing?

Freedom of speech, Democracy. Right.

Also, read this. Pathetic, really.

Out!

Source
Image

Malaysian Police.

2006-08-02T18:16:00.000+08:00

WARNING : Profanity.

Ini Polis o.O

After a short period of time of disappearance, here i am blogging on something decent but totally irrelevant to your life, or even to your mum's. But just read up will you?

This happened awhile back, prolly around a year ago, when i was still working in previous place, (an Ad agency in Subang Jaya). A perfect scenario that reflects our Bolehland's kindness and government related corruption at the same time. But i'm not complaining. Let it be this way, bwahahaha.

I remember it's a Tuesday morning, was driving to work as usual, and there's a cross junction at the end of USJ 8, which will take you to the industrial are behind Summit, i'll save you the details. At the junction, no one really respects the traffic light, the one that turning left in particular, because you stop for no reason, the only reason would be coz the light is red. Normally, you have to look out for hantus (traffic police), who will be standing behind the tree and spying on your asses. ( He thinks he looks really cute standing behind the trees). And so on that day the light was green, magically, and i took the left turn, but i was on the phone with my dad, something important i think. Woosh! i saw this pigfuck who gazed at me for a sec and spontaneously reporting on his walkie talkie, and i knew there's a road block further up on the road. As soon as i turned, one particular pakcik polis stopped me and ordered me to park at the side.

FUCK...and so i thought. But it wasnt as bad. Will tell you why.

So i rolled down the window and the conversation went something like this.

Polis fella : Selamat pagi encik.

Me : Selamat pagi.

Polis fella : Tadi encik cakap handphone yeh? (i wanted to say," tak lah, tengah memancing udang.")

Me : Ye.

Polis fella : Macam mana sekarang, ini kesalahan akhlak ( i was thinking, kesalahan akhlak kepala butoh, coz i know what these people always expect)

Me: Settle la bang.

Polis fella : Hmpfhh, settle? Berapa awak boleh kasi

Me : ~~Saya bagi kasut saya boleh?~~ Dua puluh ringgit. Itu jer saya ada.

Polis fella : Hmpfhh, dua puluh? 50 puluh la dik (fucker started calling me adik after looking at my IC) Ini kesalahan serius ni. (What an asshole.)

Following are all the lies i told him.

I have only 20 bucks. - I had more in the wallet, but i have this ~~hobbit~~ habit of keeping some notes on my shirt pocket.

Im studying and working here as a part timer - again, i graduated in 2003, never went to college again.

Salary is not out yet - It was out 4 days ago.

Then he continued.

Polis fella : Kalau awak bagi saya dua puluh ringgit, macam mana awak nak isi petrol? Lunch macam mana?

Me: Petrol ada lagi bang, makan saya kena balik kot, kalau tak kena suruh member belanja la.

Polis fella : Hmm, rumah kat mana ni?

Me : Shah Alam bang.

To which he idiotically replied,

Polis fella : Fuhhh, jauh tu. ( i was thinking, "tahu takpe")

He asked me again.

Polis fella : Kalau awak kasi duit ni semua, cam mana awak nak makan?, ( i was like what the fuck, he was so concerned about my meal, prolly because of my size)

Me : Tu takde hal la bang, kalau tak leh buat apa, toksah makan la.

Polis fella : Hmm, taruk duit tu bawah IC, lepas to pass kat saya.

And so i did. Guess what happened next?

He gave me back the 10 out of 20 bucks and smiled. He said.

Good Polis fella : Ni awak simpan duit makan, awak tolong saya, saya tolong awak.

Me : o.O Tima kasih bang.

Seriously i did not know what to say or think of this scenario, i just bribed him, because he did hint he was insisting on the bribe, and i didnt want a ticket obvoiusly, which is already a big morality issue, then he did me a favour my returning half the bribe amount simply because he didnt want me to starve.

Corrupted but considerate? Its a good or bad thing to do? I dont know, you tell me. But im glad i got away without a ticket. 300 bucks, i'd be paying through my ass.

Told my dad and he said, the policeman is a good guy, its your fault to talk on the phone while driving(dad was the one who called me anyway hehe), bribing is a normal thing in Bolehland, but he was still considerate enough to return the money so you wont starve.

Maybe my dad is right.

Lesson learnt?
Nah, fuck you morons. Good day.

Out!

Religions of the World.

2006-08-01T11:05:00.000+08:00

WARNING : Nonsense.

Been awhile since i posted anything sane or decent, I guess i dont quite have the time just yet, will post more stuff when i have the time, till then lets see what the religions of the world has to say about shit. Read it somewhere.

TAOISM - Shit Happens.

HARE KRISHNA - Shit Happens Rama Rama Ding Ding.

HINDUSIM - This Shit Happened Before.

ISLAM - If Shit Happens, Take a Hostage.

ZEN - What is the sound of Shit happening?

BUDDHISM - When Shit happens, is it really Shit?

CONFUCIANISM - Confucias Say, "Shit Happens".

7th DAY ADVENTIST - Shit Happens on Saturdays

PROTESTANTISM - Shit wont happen if i work harder.

CATHOLICISM - If Shit happens, I deserve it.

JEHOVAH'S WITNESS - Knock Knock, "Shit Happens"

UNITARIAN - What is this Shit.

MORMON - Shit happend again & again & again...

JUDAISM - Why does this shit always happen to me?

RASTAFARIANISM - Lets smoke this Shit.

ATHEISM - I f you want me to believe in Shit, you must make me touch it.

out!

Quiescence

2006-07-25T11:01:00.000+08:00

I did this on Friday.

Hmm.

The top 10 unintentionally worst company URLs

2006-07-19T16:14:00.000+08:00

Compimentary pic : Rapper, 50 'stupid fuck' cent.

Everyone knows that if you are going to operate a business in today’s world you need a domain name. It is advisable to look at the domain name selected as other see it and not just as you think it looks. Failure to do this may result in situations such as the following (legitimate) companies who deal in everyday humdrum products and services but clearly didn’t give their domain names enough consideration:

1. A site called ‘Who Represents‘ where you can find the name of the agent that represents a celebrity. Their domain name… wait for it… is
www.whorepresents.com

2. Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at
www.expertsexchange.com

3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at
www.penisland.net

4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at
www.therapistfinder.com

5. Then of course, there’s the Italian Power Generator company…
www.powergenitalia.com

6. And now, we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales:
www.molestationnursery.com

7. If you’re looking for computer software, there’s always
www.ipanywhere.com

8. Welcome to the First Cumming Methodist Church. Their website is
www.cummingfirst.com

9. Then, of course, there’s these brainless art designers, and their whacky website:
www.speedofart.com

10. Want to holiday in Lake Tahoe? Try their brochure website at
www.gotahoe.com

Man, i couldnt stop laughing at the second one. Out!

Source

Mac or PC

2006-07-05T10:29:00.000+08:00

WARNING: OMG! It's teh geek! q(^o^)p . Euww.

The debate that never ends. There's no right answer for this, because every computer user has different needs and preferences. A Mac may be the perfect choice for one person, but absolutely wrong for another. But yet i decided to bitch on. No matter how convincing someone can sound praising either platforms, Apple geeks stays with Apple, likewise for PC.

Constipated pie faced maggot Gates made his money. He dominated the industry, everything runs on Windows, almost, whereby ~~Adam's~~ Apple Computers has come a long way inventing expensive brainfucking items like ~~keropok~~ I-Pod. I had the mp3 device once, from my previous boss, he let me use it simply because he doesnt know how to operate an I- Pod, what the fuck, really, i know. But yeah, seriously these players, theres a term, yeah compitable audio player are useless, its like Woaarrhhh the first few hours, then it rests in your drawer beside your underwears. This shit it irritating. Now..i have gone a little off topic eh? Fine, blog is mine. Bwahaha. Thats lame. Sorry Einsteins.

Its really subjective when it comes to choosing an appropriate platform, issues that you really should consider is what do you want to use you machine for, it serves a purpose definitely, but you gotta start identifying those, lets see what fits where

Games - Windows, die you disgusting gamers.

Design - Mac, but then again, depends on what kinda design, Web design with Mac is a no no. Ever wonder why designers always use Apple Computers? Here we go :-

1. theyre not paying for it, mac is as expensive as a pregnant gorilla.
2. the color clarity and accuracy, check Apple monitors, aww so sharp it pokes.
3. output is much easier with Mac, Windows delays the process
4. they think its cool to use a Mac, cos its white and clean and sleek and yada yada yada...

Midget Porn - Perverts, welcome to Windows. Compatibility is not an issue.

Music making - Mac, again for output. Its just better at it.

Admin Clerk work - Dont expect a Mac, you cant figure what key belongs to which function. Dumb PC would do the job, Bwahaha. Damn.

User Friendly - Windows, and Mac isnt actually hard to use, people just get confused coz theyre so used to Windows interface and funtions, by principal, i would say Mac is as equally easy as Windows, despite a few difference here and there.

Surfing only - why bother getting a PC, you fucks. Walk to the nearest cyber cafe. I know a guy, well more like a retard, only thing he does online is surf Friendster and looks at pictures, also checking his hotmail, for friendster message notification that is. He doesnt know what Google is. What a moron.

It all comes back to one question always, "what are you gonna do with your machine?" But some rich ignorant fools like buying Macs simply because its different and cool, but these idiots end up not knowing how to fully utilize it, stupidity? yeah.

Personally i would prefer using a Mac @ work and a PC at home, right now im a Web Designer so i dont use the Macintosh platform, my previous 2 jobs, Macs are absolutely stunning when it comes to funtionality, look & feel, also the speed (depending on you processor), lets see whats the pros and cons like: -

Pros.

Initial (purchase or licensing) cost:

A fully equipped Macintosh computer is no more expensive than a similarly equipped Windows computer. The days are gone where Apple is more expensive than Intel-compatible systems. In Malaysia, its more like who gives a fuck.

Open Source advantage:

Because Mac OS X is based on Open Source foundations, the global open source community is quick to add to the resources, so bugs are fixed quickly, vulnerabilities are addressed quickly, and the user base that has access to the code to make corrections is larger than Apple alone.

System Stability:

Crashes and lock-ups are much less frequent with Mac OS X than with Windows. (Laj, this is for you.)

Virus activity:

It rocks right at this point. Read on.

By design, Mac systems are nearly invulnerable to viruses and spyware.
"There are about 60,000 viruses known for Windows, 40 or so for the Macintosh, about 5 for commercial Unix versions, and perhaps 40 for Linux. Most of the Windows viruses are not important, but many hundreds have caused widespread damage. Two or three of the Macintosh viruses were widespread enough to be of importance. None of the Unix or Linux viruses became widespread - most were confined to the laboratory."

Cons.

There is more commercially-written software available for Windows than Mac OS, but this gap is shrinking, but yeah what the fuck, it rocks.

You to all you noobs that havent seen a Mac Interface before...here's a few screenshots for your idiotic viewing pleasure. Zhank yew.

OS X Tiger interface

Widget, see how the snow animates? Cool eh?

Dashboard widgets

Steve Wozniak & Steve Jobs, the inventors of personal computers
Jobs now the CEO of Apple Computers Inc.

I blogged this post from Windows 2000 NT, and it sucks egg.

Out!

LRT

2006-06-23T15:25:00.000+08:00

WARNING : Racism, profanity, yeah the regular shit.

This is the 4th week im travelling to work, back and forth using the famous Putra LRT (dont ask why), its fast, its cheap, efficient, all yes, but the people are fuckin annoying, sometime you just feel like bitch slapping the very next retard that annoys your day, its annoying, everyday fuckin day. I'll tell you why.

It's always full, ALWAYS regardless the time, 8am, 2pm, 10am, name it, its packed like sardine cans. BK and me take the LRT from Asiajaya about 8:20 every morning, sometimes we need to let pass a couple of trains before we could get into one, which will also be full.
Illegal immigrant motherfuckers stare at you as if youre an immigrant, pig smelling banglas and retarded indons precisely. They just stare as if theres a penguin sex show on my face, we gotta burn all of these fuckholes using flamethrowers.
The moment an Indian (Indians from India, South India) enters the coach, it starts smelling like a barber shop, its like a curse, all these motherfuckers use the same freaking perfume or whatever shit that is, God knows. And it reminds me so much of barber shops, something that i dont fuckin need in the ~~saddam~~ sardine packed morning LRT.
Some of these buggers actually read in the LRT, yeah thats fine, not in a packed LRT, they dont hold on the bars when the trains moving, they indulge so much into the book, and all the books ive seen are boring, some dude was reading a book on Jews, seems really important. I dont understand, im just waiting for a fine day where a reader would grab my shirt or hand since he's not holding the bar but a book instead when the LRT sudden brakes, swear to God im gonna slap his head. Will reconsider my action if its a babe. :)
People get in even before the ones inside get down, and most of the time, old buggers do this kinda shit, men, women, all..50-60 years old, sad but they're quite brainless.
Noisy immigrants, no comments.
Lots of babes, all PMS faced though. They'll probably bite if you smile. Rawr!
There are no drivers, its cool and all, we all know this fact, its computerized and hopefully it doesnt go wrong anytime soon. And i really pray they're not running on Windows.
They should have music in LRT, ease everyones pain, all we hear is, some bitch shouting the name of the station every now and then, its necessary, yes but they can have some songs from Mawi in between and just send everyone to their graves.
KTM commuter is so silent inside when it runs, LRT is freaking noisy, noisier than your average housewife, which is quite suprising.

Having said all that, theres room for improvement in the service, i dont really give a shit, but i really pity people who travel by LRTs everyday for the past few years.

First things first, dont allow illegal immigrants, get their passport checked, bunch of morons are really annoying.

Here's a pic from some dudes blog.

Masukk masukkkkkkk...

Out.

Sarvam Shivamayam.

2006-06-21T23:48:00.000+08:00

A close friend's father passed away peacefully earlier today (Wednesday, June 21, 2006).
Let us pray for her father's soul to rest in peace.

Maha Mrityunjaya Mantra

Om trayambakam yajaamahe sugandhim pushtivardhanam
Urvaarukamiva bandhanaan mrityor muksheeya maamritaat.

O Supreme light, lead us from untruth to truth, from darkness to light and from death to immortality.

Sarvam Shivamayam.

May his soul reast in peace.

Tuesday morning in MSN

2006-06-13T10:48:00.000+08:00

WARNING : Random discrimination.

Salini says:
Subject: hai
Message: hai saraku hru>
savadi sarakul;ah nee

Salini says:
wtf.

dзсємвея. says:
its all good

Salini says:
fuck la. he looks like a rubbertapper's half-retarded son

.dзсємвея. says:
OMG

.dзсємвея. says:
dudes occupation is graphic designer

.dзсємвея. says:
wat a fuckhole

.dзсємвея. says:
i feel half retarded now

Salini says:
he needs to design himself a face. geez.

.dзсємвея. says:
im posting all these

Salini says:
lol

Google

2006-06-08T14:18:00.000+08:00

WARNING : Profanity, a little.

Ladies and gentlemen, Google is now officially a word in the dictionary. Yeah, i can hear you, what the fuck right? It's clear that they are trying to dominate the ultimate, porno infested Internet, these motherfuckers are everywhere, literally.

Look at this.

Source

These buggers are so rich, and they are releasing softwares despite the importance of the usage like every other month. Here's a list of few, you can check the softwares as well as download it here.

Google Earth - 3D Earth browser
Google Desktop - Desktop companion
Picasa - Photo organizer
Google Toolbar for Internet Explorer - Search toolbar
Google Pack Screensaver - Photo screensaver
~~G-Unit -~~ ~~Black gangsta motherfuckers~~

And now there's also Google Sketch just to sketch some random 3d interior crap, im not sure what is it for though.

Heard about the Gdrive yet? Apparently its a hardisk over the server where u can dump everything you want or you dont want in there, so technically you can have the whole shitload of stuff that you have in you machine in the server too. And i heard its free. It sounds cool yes, but they'll be watching all your activities. So think.

Google is too powerful, sometimes you can even hack into sites using only Google, yes i have tried it before and yes, it works. Click here to read more. Another shit that really annoys me is Google AdSense, i took off my page simply because its irritating, and i dont wanna earn a few bucks through confused, non-internet savvy, drooling over monitor motherfuckers. Pity them. They just click on everything. Nevermind if you have a few ad links on your page, there's one page, which i couldnt remember, this idiot earns through his ad's everything is clickable and every click generates money, its cool, yes, but its irritating.

I have messed with Google Earth before, that shit was cool, you can actually zoom until the roof of your house, its a little pain in the ass to look for the right are, but its all labeled and you can succeed in like 2 hours maybe, and pin it, so the next time you zoom into the earth, you wont get lost and land in some place like Batang Berjuntai and shit, and no, its not real time, all photographs, pretty impressive stuff. Try it.

They slapped MSN by Gmail, initally offering 1GB of free email webspace which freaked the breakfast out of everybody, but its really usefull and it has tons of features, better ones compared to stupid ~~hotmale~~ hotmail. Now they are offering more space, and MSN decided to say, "*Yawn*, Whatever pigfuckers, we have Windows". And they still maintain the 5MB of space till now.

I have a feeling that Google's gonna take over the Net very soon, everything's gonna be Google affiliated, they gonna name the Internet to The Googlenet. Think about it, nobody owns the Internet, but maybe this is possible, we can see the intruding process in progress.

May the force be with you, dumbass.

Out!

Illusion - What's it all about?

2006-05-29T21:04:00.000+08:00

WARNING : Profanity. Yeah, thats all.

David Copperfield who's real name is David Kotkin

mag·ic
n.

The art that purports to control or forecast natural events, effects, or forces by invoking the supernatural.
1. The practice of using charms, spells, or rituals to attempt to produce supernatural effects or control events in nature.
2. The charms, spells, and rituals so used.
The exercise of sleight of hand or conjuring for entertainment.
A mysterious quality of enchantment: “For me the names of those men breathed the magic of the past” (Max Beerbohm).

il·lu·sion
n.

1. An erroneous perception of reality.
2. An erroneous concept or belief.
The condition of being deceived by a false perception or belief.
Something, such as a fantastic plan or desire, that causes an erroneous belief or perception.
Illusionism in art.
A fine transparent cloth, used for dresses or trimmings.

Source

Allright, first things first, there's certainly a difference between magic and illusion, magic sounds stupid, something that we cant really relate to reality, whereby illusion sounds decent enough, seems real.

And so i got hold of this DVD titled David ~~Arumugam~~ Copperfield - Illusion - 15 years of ~~rock jiwang~~ Magic, and i have to tell you it was amazing. There was a few tricks that really blew my mind away, like :-

The Oriental Express Mystery - He stood, the train levitated like some 20 feet above the ground..covered with a huge huge cloth of course, then he pulled the cloth, woosh! it was gone.
The Statue of ~~Mawi~~ Liberty Disappears - The title explains so much, right. It wasnt there for a moment, im not sure how true this was, apparently it was one of his most remarkable illusion in the 90's
Walking through the Great Wall of China - Yeah, you guessed it genius. He walked right across it, somethings really fishy, but the what the fuck, its fun to watch
Random Bunny - Pulls out a rabbit or other random material like a fishing rod out of random spectator's arse. Allright, just kidding.

It was amazing nevertheless, i dont really care if he really posseses some supernatural soul sold to devil power, which i strongly believe he doesnt, let it be tricks and technology, but he certainly made the difference by doing all the tricks and we just watch in amazement. All we can say is " Thats bullshit, he uses the devil" Right, the devil, what the fuck, really, there was this rumours in the 90's, where people strongly believed that he could pull all the massive magic stunts just because he sold his soul to the devil. Which idiot said this, i do not know.

Im sure there are ways of doing this illusions, afterall its an artform, erroneous perception of reality. The diversion is made so carefully, so that any of us (the idiots) wouldnt realize it. I read an article, it said anyone cal do illusions and tricks, but getting away without getting caught, thats the tough part, these mofo's have the talents, and theyre filthy rich, like the other dude, David Blaine, sheesh whats with magicians and the name David? Hmm..

So, i think its true that magicians are just a bunch of great mind manipulators, unless you beg to differ, tell me what you think. :) They are people with great talents, they have my respect.

Here's an article that proves the world has endless amouth of stupid fuckholes supply, this dude reveals the truth behind the disappearance of the Statue of Liberty, YOU HAVE TO READ THIS. This the stupidest thing i have ever read. Really.

Anyway here's a complimentary photo that i manipulated, the David & David collaboration. I can get really bored you know.

Weee!

Out!

No Alleycats members were disrespected during this post.

Brainfucked.

2006-05-29T14:23:00.000+08:00

WARNING : *(&^# @(#^& )#@)* ^@#*&^@#) !!!! @()*#@ (=^_^=) fuck.

My car died on "double lane jammed up like bitch, motorola interchange" this morning, I got brainfucked. Enough said.

Change the car? We'll see...hmm.

Out!

Ghosts? Argh!

2006-05-26T02:14:00.000+08:00

WARNING : Random supernatural experience. Im not bullshitting. Really.

Encik Hantu PJK, AMN, Anak Haram Gejadah.

Day : Thursday
Time : About 0500LT

And after getting tired doing nothing, i decided to get some sleep like everyone else, so i went to my sisters' room (my room is hot as hell, and there not air cond) and slept, since i was damn tired...again after doing nothing, i slept.

Say after 10 minutes or so, im not sure if any of you people experienced this, but BK experienced it a few times, and this wasnt my first time anyway. And oh yeah, after 10 minutes or so...i was in this space between being awake and deep in slumber, i felt my matress sinking, (not because im heavy you idiot) and this En.~~Pukimak~~ Hantu grabbed me from top and refused to let go, it was holding me so tight, i couldnt not open my eyes, i could not scream, i struggled to release myself, it went on for a minute, then i was awake. o.O One.

I slept again, and it happened again, this time my head was pressed onto the pillow, to suffocate me for no apparent reason, i struggled for a bit there and could actually feel its arms, scary shit? yeah i suppose, then it disappeared, i was awake again o.O Two.

And again i slept, i didnt want to give up sleeping you see, motherfucker really had a problem with me and grabbed the fuck out of me again, again like scenario one, grabbed my arms and refused to let go...the only thing that came to my mind was "What the FUCK!!!, for fucks sake let me sleep you fuckfaced random hugging bitch!" Soon it ended, and i got up, totally awake, lacking of enthusiasm to sleep. o.O Three.

I went to seek help, went to my dads room and woke him up, i told him what happened, and he asked me, did you go out earlier...i said no, i was at home all night, then he just asked me to sleep in MY room, and so i did, nothing happend after that, pissed couple of times, thats all.

All i wanna know is :-

What the fuck was that all about?
Why the hell me? What did i ever do to these things? I dont even disturb goats.
It all happened in the sub-concious state of mind, so someone please tell me, was i dreaming or it was really some bored ass stupid fuckfaced vietnamese ghost?
The ironic thing about it is, i could feel the pain on my hand, where it grabbed me o.O What the fuck, really.
And it was 5am, way past the typical ghosts itchy hours. Why?
Why not disturb me when i doing something else, like when im taking a piss or eating Bak Kut Teh? Why only when im trying to sleep?
Why grab? why not poke, or tickle or sing a Nepalese song.

Im clueless really, and im not bullshitting. It really happened, for no reason, i think that Hantu was really bored and just wanna bitch with me for a bit and scare the breakfast out of me, whatever it is, i wasnt afraid, just a little annoyed. So mr.hugging bitch, go try something else, trying baking a cake, molesting a dog/Bangla or visit the nerest 7-11. Dont bother me please. (If its really a ghost of somesort)

Someone out there gotta have an answer for my questions above, care to explain?. Please.

Out!

Fuck, i was hurt 24 hrs before posting this.

__________________________________

EDIT : My friend Sal commented right after i posted this, and i Googled for the answer. And now it makes perfect sense. Its called sleep paralysis, and i didnt know about this, click here to read on it.
Thanks dearie! :)

Only In Penang

2006-05-24T11:01:00.000+08:00

WARNING: Random discrimination, if youre from Penang and youre retarded, dont bother reading.Well...on second thought, go ahead and read it, youre retarded anyway.

Monkey, yaay!

I was in Penang a couple of week back, for the labour day holiday, it was just a day extra, which didnt do any good. Anyway Penang, weird ass island, populated by more monkeys than human beings, humans there are like fucking monkeys anyway. I have a confession though, i was born in Penang, stayed there a couple of months when i was a baby, that was it, i was sane enough to get the fuck outta the place. Call me a hypocrite, i dont care.

If you're wondering whats so bad about living in the self proclaimed beautiful island, click here and see what it can do to you, considering if you've been living in Penang for all your life. This can get worse. Bwahaha, sue me Deena.

The place is allright, its good if you wanna dump all your work and chill for a couple of days, Penang would be ideal, yes...because you can laugh at almost everything there, its all stupid for no apparent reason, here's some stuff that you can see/feel/hear/eat/experince /whatsofuckinever only in Penang :-

Driving is madness, i drove for 2 days and i felt like giving up ~~drinking~~ driving altogether, you can get your poor self into accident if you abandon your concentration for mere 0.3 sec(s). You will listen horns like everywhere for no reason, its like they just found out what horns in cars are, to honk and annoy the crap out of you. Well what happened was, i was driving on my lane, some Chinese old bugger on the opposite direction riding his bike towards me, on my lane, and guess what, motherfucker honked at me. Brilliant fucktard. I wonder what his mom fed him, prolly some pearls and mule shit.
Botanical Garden - There's nothing botanical about this place, just a bunch of peanut-stealing, small-children-scaring, upskirt-fetishist, immigrant-molesting monkeys. No, not humans, real monkeys, yes. These monkeys are wicked, they will annoy the breakfast out of you. Count a couple of gay Banglas in. They enjoy gay love in Botanical Garden maybe because they have deep ~~penetration~~ connection with the subhuman primates.
There are more horses than ~~indians~~ dogs in Batu Feringghi beach.
Sleeping Buddha - allright, we get it, he's Buddha and he's sleeping, whats the big fuckin deal about it, everyone sleeps, even rodents.
Weird sight, things that you can actually encounter on the roads when youre driving
1. Pasembor bike(some modifed bike, looks half bike, half dining table) overtaking your car on traffic jams. Wow!
2. Beca - its everywhere in the city, small children from KL would go like "Daddy daddy, what the fuck is that?" when they see one.
3. More bicycles than motorcyles, and yeah they have buses without air condition still.
4. No one gives a damn about ~~wonderbra~~ zebra crossing.
Nasi lemak with fish, its weird, really, its not ikan bilis, and its not a fully grown fish, its like some teenage fish or ,maybe the retarded ones. Wait..i get it, its a midget fish. Only in Penang.
Rojak is pasembor, ~~cibai~~ cabai is chilli, nyiur is coconut and they still use the term kupang, and some poor KL mothefucker gonna get confused like shit.
One and only 'happening' (according to them) club is called Slippery ~~Shithole~~ Senorita. Apparently everyone goes there.
Food is cheap, yes, but the portions are much more smaller, even a midget might need to double the order. So pratically its not that cheap. What a bunch of lying fuckholes.
My dad bought drink for like 13 of us, drinks like soya bean and stuff, guess how much was it, RM 3.00, dirt cheap, yes, but the stuff is good.
Nasi Kandar, i have to admit its really good here, but trick of nasi kandar is just the rice is salted slightly, that gives it the extra taste.
Some of them are really stupid, you can actually skip the Penang bridge toll and get in for free. Allright, just kidding.

KL is not that great afterall, I live in Shah Alam, and you know what kinda shithole place is that, if you know what i mean. But seriously, i love to be in Penang, just for a week, not more than that, prolly because its so much different from KL, the lifestyle is on a much more slower pace, not the fucking cars there though. Its a great place to relax, and enjoy your holidays, and pig out at the nearest nasi kandar restaurant.

Old buildings in Penang are really beautiful, great B&W photography subject, me likes.

Although Penang is a little retarded with a tint of weirdness, but its truly beautiful. Hypocrite? Uhm..

Out!

No monkeys were harmed during the vacation period.

Bwahaha, Strikes! Im loving it...bleh.

2006-05-17T09:57:00.000+08:00

WARNING : Bitching about myself, go fuck a mule you dont like it.

Life is funny, witty, weird, spastic, retarded and fucked for no apparent reason.

Why all these bad things happening to me, i cant take it anymore, im heartbroken, im lost, i need strength, God show some mercy please. Allright, just kidding.

All i fucking need now is some good money. Period. And i will tell you why :-

Strike 1 - Im broke as fuck, i couldnt afford a bar of ~~dope~~ soap, this is an infinite thing for most of us, being ~~hot~~ broke that is. Nevermind that.

Strike 2 - My alternator gave away for fucks a couple of weeks ago, i blogged about that here.
Status : Fixed
Damage : RM 250

Strike 3 - Absorber mounting broke, again for fun.
Status : Fixed
Damage : RM 70

Strike 4 - Front wheel bearing gone, this was right after i fixed the ~~panda~~ freaky looking mounting, the very next day. Its like a continuos gameshow, like "Who wants to be a dumbass & look stupid", in this case its me.
Status : to be fixed this Saturday
Damage : I dont fucking know.

Strike 5 : Shoes got stolen, Indonesians.I blogged on that here. Now not only im a dumbass and i look stupid, ive got no shoes. Fuck!!
Status : No new shoes yet, Im as broke as you, remember? refer to Strike 1.
Damage : Rm 200++
Result : Wearing sandals to office, and i look like im gonna attend friday prayer (sembahyang Jumaat) everyday, i look like an Indian muslim now with the beard. And what pisses me off is, Indon fuckers are wearing shoes. Count a couple of Banglas in.

Strike 6 (latest via Reuters) - Today, like 2 hrs back, car died in the middle of the road, opposite Sunway Pyramid, near the Caltex, called a foreman, guess what? Timing belt snapped. o.O
Holy Fuckness! I've got bent valves and broken rods. Perfect. Now, not only im a dumbass, i look stupid, and ive got no shoes, i have no car now. Fuck!! x 2. They towed my ride by the way.
Status : Fixing & im getting brainfucked. Gotta collect it later today.
Damage : Rm700+

I havent start wondering why all this 'bad' luck is raping me again and again, and i wont. Things tend to happen and i just gotta accept it, and i dont really care nowadays. So when situation like this occurs, my advice is, fuck the world, grab a beer & enjoy the melodies.

And no, im not gonna blame God for this. Thats what most of you buggers do. Bwahaha, My car is fucked, im responsible for it, no one else is, i could blame a Bangla or a dog, but then, thats a disgrace.

Damn im mean.

I felt exactly like this earlier this morning when the foreman was about to announce the damage.
OH SHIT!!

Out!

An interview with the Captain, one man army, a retard.

2006-05-10T23:51:00.000+08:00

1.WARNING: Graphic content. Staring at the image below for more than 3 sec(s) can cause serious mental illness. I DID warn you.

2.EXTRA NOTE: Dont bother reading if you dont appear to be an Indian whos familiar with Action Packed *vomits* Tamil movies. Really.

Technical Diagram; Subject01 : Captain ~~Vijayacunt~~ Vijayakanth.

Bloodshot eyes : Effective to scare anyone away, including midget pornstars and cars would stop thinking its a new traffic light in town.
Boomerang eyebrows : Effective to kill rodents and newborn baby swines.
Bear pubic hair like moustache : The manly charm, attracts most hairy Indian gay men.
Perfect complexion : Dual 5K layer coloring, sometimes brown, sometimes pink. Pearl silver coated.
Somewhat thick dark hair : Perfect.

This dude is a living disaster, im speechless. My blog's representative Codename: 'Dood' managed to spend a quality moment with this living legend. Here's the interview :-

Dood : A very good evening sar!
Captain : Call me captain, yes good evening indeed.

Dood : You look pretty tired, been a busy day eh captain?
Captain : Oh yes, tell me about it, was working out for a staggering 3 minutes, thats how i keep fit nowadays. *wipes sweat off face*

Dood : First things first, why are you called captain? I cant imagine you as captain of anything, where the name came from? Why 'captain'
Captain: Very good question, back in school, yes i did study, hehe. Oh yeah, back in school i wasnt a very good looking boy, i know my fans beg to differ, but i have to be modest, and yeah so i wasnt a bright student as well, so i picked an activity, Cheerleading since i was a faggot, still am up to a certain extend, so the girls were all happy to see a moustached faggot cheering along with them and made me the captain. I still remember the day i walked out as a captain for the little ladies. It was beautiful and i wept that evening.

Dood: Goodlord, that's beautiful. *holds puke* Uhm..how old are you captain?
Captain: *blushes* Im 25 this year, i know i look ~~like shit~~ older, its genetics. And the brave moustache adds a year or two.

Dood: Err, but you've been around the industry for 25 years now. And youre only 25?
Captain: Shadap, next question. (=^_^=)

Dood : How do you explain yourself going against the Newton law of gravity, captain?
Captain: Well, If object A has mass Ma and object B has mass Mb,
then the force F on object A is directed toward object B
and has magnitude of

F = G Ma Mb / r2 hence G x cunt Im a DuMB f.uck /4t = iM tHE 3 Man. (=^_^=)

Dood: Fuc...*sigh*. Whatever.
Captain : /me shy.

Dood: Are you married captain?
Captain: Ow come on, im still young, and im in the midst of looking for my dream ~~camel~~ girl. I have got only one condition for her though, she has to be as ~~retarded~~ hairy as me, at least by 78% then I would consider her as my better half.

Dood: How do you end up with gorgeous babes in movies, babes like Isha ~~Kopiko~~ Gophikar and Simran.
Captain: Hahaha, well its not my ever handsome looks definitely, i suppose its the charm i have, it works all the time, ow and not forgetting my ultimate smile which is only 40% visible under my manly ~~belly~~ moustache. Some even went to the extend of begging me for a duet bit in the movie. I turned them all down. My chicks has got to have some quality, like... being really hairy.

Dood: *mumbles - wutta fucktard* Haha, thats really interesting ~~dumbass~~ captain. So what do you do when on your freetime?
Captain: I watch my little goats taking dump, playing hide and seek with my maids, shaping my moustache, admiring myself in front on the mirror, milking camels, and watching random animal sex on Discovery, sometimes i workout 3 times a day, 3 long minutes per session, you might be wondering where the muscles came from, well this is it. Workouts, and im persistent.

Dood: Yeah, workout eh?
Captain: /me shy again.

Dood: How can you dance so well, are you naturally gifted?
Captain: Ow haha. Thanks, i know im a great dancer, some say it looks like a bag of rice jumping from a truck, but i know myself better. Well dance, let me see..i took dancing lessons personally from MJ and i later on taught Prabudeva and brothers.

Dood: Ever thought of WWF'ing?
Captain : You mean replacing the mascot Panda?
Dood : No dumbass, the World Wresting Federation.
Captain: Ow..hehe..not at the moment, i dont dare baring my body much since i came from an orthodox family. Fighting on stage with my underwear would make women go hoo haa over me. I dont want that. Really.

Dood: Yeah yeah fuck off. I gotta run, thanks for the time, bitch.
Captain : Jai Hind.

End.

Hopefully no ones hurt. Out!

p/s: Wont be blogging for a couple of days because i'll be off to Penang. Might blog some shit bout Penang though. Thanks for reading :)

The slogan generator. Nasty nasty...

2006-05-08T01:39:00.000+08:00

WARNING : Profanity & stupidity.

Im sure most of you know this slogan generator, which basically generates slogan for whatever name you type in, lots of bulletin posts about it on friendster. So i was just messing around with it, with random words and profanity of course. Lets see what we have : -

Hungry? Why Wait? Grab a Pigshit.(this is awesome!)
Nobody Better Lay a Finger on my Ayam.(yes yes, touch me chicken not)
My Fuckface to Yours.( haha, good one)
Devon Knows How They Make Bangla So Creamy.(*pukes* fuck!)
I'd Walk a Mile for a Cacat. (would you? really?)
The World's Local Encik Kadir. (no comments)
If You Can't Beat Pervert, Join Pervert.(like duh!)
I Feel Like Biskut Kering Tonight. (uh oh..wonder what that means, really)
Pigfucker Saves Your Soul. (so fuckin touching, aww)
The Macha That Eats Like A Meal. (machans eat everything)
Cleans Your Floor Without Panda. (excellent, this ugly fuckers better make their selves useful for once)
There's More Than One Way To Eat A Pisang. (uhm..kinky?)
The Sweet You Can't Eat Without Indon. (for fucks sake, no!)
What Can Uzbekistan Mountain Goat Do For You? (uhm..breakfast?)
Bring Out The Tenuk. (holyshit.)
What Would You Do For A Doraemon? (answer this people)
Think Once, Think Twice, Think Bangsat. (woohoo awesomeness)
You'll Look a Little Lovelier Each Day with Fabulous Pink Cibai. ( Jesus f'in Christ o.O, the ultimate, i did not expect this.)
Mama Mia, That's One Spicy Pukimak! (Holy shit! i think they have some sort of profanity detector thingy, it shoots the best slogan with nasty words, despite the language)
Have a Redneck and Smile. (now, thats some serious bullshit)
Pride of the Kucing Hutan For Over a Hundred Years. (felines at its best)
Mama's got the Magic of Hantu Susu. ( hmm..nasty)
With A Name Like Petai, It Has To Be Good. (fuck no.)
Dude, You're Getting a Shithole! (that sounds like taxes)
(Last but not least, bluek!) Making Samyveloo Taste Better.

Make your own, and see what comes out. Man..nasty generator.

The generator.

Out!

Renault Kangoo - OMG.

2006-05-05T02:37:00.000+08:00

WARNING : Graphical stupidity, random automobile discrimination. Midgets, im so sorry. Read up...

Look at this thing, just look at it, i fail to understand what the fuck this is at the first place. Stupid ugly man. I've seen these cars on road too many times, i still see it, never once its presence fail to make me choke on my breakfast. They prolly claimed its a car, but i beg to differ. Its almost like a small truck + jeep + k-car hybrid. Its like mixing ~~indons~~ goats, horses and fuckin squids. I feel its really really ugly, im sure you would agree.

I know design sense is a very subjective thing. Everyones perception over something 'nice' differs from each other, but then this ~~crap~~ car, looking even from a very different perspective, looks as stupid as a dugong still. Ive seen this car alot on the road, most of it without the back window panel, the load it up with stuff for delivery or some shit.

How can they design something blunt like this? I always thought Europeans are good, not the best, but the good design sense is always there. Take a look at this Renault Fluence. Its the same brand, and they are capable of designing something sleek like this. Kangoo couldve been a better creature with a tint of Fluence's design. Cars werent designed by a single ~~ape~~ man, its a group of designers, and they still fail to come up with something impressive, nevermind impressive, something acceptable at least.

Lets see what's this piece of shit is ideal for : -

Im sure most of the guys,wait...all the guys know what Bangbus is, the crew could use this car as their official fuckmobile, for midget porn that is.
Kidnappers, can use this to kidnap small ~~monkeys~~ children.
Send your kids to school with this, im sure the kids' friends gonna laugh their ass out seeing him/her getting down from this car. Do this only if you hate your child.
Gift for your mother in-law. Indirectly telling her that she's as ugly as the car. Maybe uglier. (only for bad mother in-laws)
Kereta mayat, again for midgets.
Animal lovers, ideal car for your pets, doenst matter if your lil pooch gonna shit in the car, it wouldnt make a difference anyway.
If youre filthy rich, use this as a toy car, run over some Indons for fun. Also try burning it down.

Some of you might think what the fuck is wrong with me bitching about anything & everything, well i think its better than writing stuffs like :-

" It's 4 am, and i cant sleep, i cant bear this ~~stomachache~~ heartache anymore, she left me knowing that i loved her so much, i did all i could, wonder whatmore she wanted, am holding a knife now...shall i slit my wrist? ~~shall i eat potatoes?~~ or shall i live another day? "

Some people love writing dark stuff like this, they could actually pause between the suicidal point and blog about it. Brilliant. My advice, if you wanna kill yourself over something thats not worth it, dont do it, nothing & no one is worth your death. And you gonna miss alot of stuff, like....my blog. Bwahaha.

Midgets & Kangoo owners (fuck, even the name sucks) Im sorry. Hmm...

Out!

And no, no midgets were hurt during the process of writing this post.

Indonesian Illegal Immigrants - you motherfuckers.

2006-05-03T10:13:00.000+08:00

WARNING : PROFANITY, RACISM, RANDOM DISCRIMINATION (and i dont care, really.) Kids, stay the fuck out, watch cow and chicken or some shit.

Indonesia

Earlier today, Wednesday 3rd May 2005 (May already uh?), I got up to get ready for another day of work, once i was done i went downstair, and my mom said "Come out faster, there's a surprise" Mom's funny, oh yes. So i went to see whats the surprise, i knew it wasnt someting good like my dream ~~girl~~ car was waiting outside or something, and guess what, all the freaking shoes from all 3 shoe racks were stolen. For fucks sake, shoes! And let me tell you, my shoes werent in excellent condition either, it looks as if it got chewed by a ~~bangla~~ dog. And the worst thing was, my little sister's pink shoes will rollers were missing too. Really. Lucky i had my sandals, they left it untouched, pigfuckers being considerate probably. Sigh.

My assumption, ~~prediction~~, is, the fucker who took the shoes gotta be a freaking Indonesian bastard, a drug addict for sure to be precise. My housing area is located beside a construction site, this place is infested with these brainless, long haired, ~~shit~~ ghostly looking, weed smoking monkeys. And my housing area is guarded. Guards are hopeless, they'll sleep after 3am. Ive seen it a couple of times, nevermind that. Indon buggers are inhuman, i can tell you that much. They really bother me, lets say for instance you go to Pertama Complex in KL, you'd feel like its Indonesia, and as if you being an immigrant. You get the freaky cold stare from them which basically translates to "Get the fuck outta my country" What the fuck.

This is what they do :-

They infest KL and all the other places for that matter, ~~Samyvelu~~ Government (do we even have one?) gotta do something about this. They're everywhere, cinemas, malls, bus stops, supermarkets, even banana leaf restaurants, you name it.
All long haired, and they look like ~~gorillas~~ criminals, not the normal criminals, the sick ones, ~~rappers~~ rapist of some sort. They can scare ~~pigs~~ small children away in less than a second.
They drool over women like how we drool over mouthwatering food, let it be a fairly young girl, an infant, or even my grandmother, . Thats sick, they are all sick fuckin perverts. Period.
They smoke Gudang Garam *cough*
They are seriously some black metalist wannabes. Black t-shirts and black jeans, and they look like shit in it. Disgrace to the whole metal scene if you ask me.
They own all the Bus Mini. Its almost like an Indonesian small flight.
They always move in a group, knowing that an angry ~~racist~~ citizen like me would stab their ~~ass~~ face and kill if they were to walk alone.

It's just shoes, i know, but that was the first thing in the morning, and i havent got my pay to get the shoes replaced, you know... its really troublesome, i was really pissed for a bit and cursed that the fucker to get run down by a ~~indon~~ waste disposal truck by noon, ha ha one more hour to go. DIE MOTHERFUCKER DIE!

Well, i need to be sane at times, i dont hate Indonesians by the whole, i do have great Indonesian friends, my sisters best friend is an Indonesian Chinese girl, and she's nice. Its just the certain conservative, typical, ulufied Indons that makes me wanna kill them. I dont hate humans or races, really, its just their idealogy. So Mr. Pencuri, do die fast. Bwahaha.

______________________

And something totally irrelevant happened when i was about to park my car near the office. My phone indicated an incoming message, so i parked and checked. Take a look at this fucker and what he/she said :-

From: +6012226519*
AYAM 7 EKOR. POTONG 16. UDANG 4 KG. CUKUPLAH TU.

Now..what the fuck again. Some housewife's message was missent to me, but 7 chickens, i really wonder if they have to feed 11 children, that could form a whole football team by the way. Or prolly theyre running a stall or some shit. Whatever. I wanted to send a nasty message, since i still have 26 more free sms left given by Maxis and its a 012 number, but then i thought what if its an elderly woman, so i did reply, in Malay, decent malay, almost textbook like. This is the message :-

To: +6012226519*
Anda tersilap hantar mesej, saya tiada kaitan dgn ayam mahupun udang, kalau nak reka laman web, sila hubungi saya. Me kaseeeeeeh!

And I got a reply after that :-

From: +6012226519*
A'kom, saya minta maaf wak tersalah tekan angka. Bolih saya tahu awak nie siapa nama?. Dah minum ke belum?

Looks like this idiot has got all the money and time in the world.And so i replied :-

To: +6012226519*
Bodohnya awak.

Ok i did not say that, dont wanna waste my time and my free *wee* credit.

Another Indon? I dont know. You tell me.

______________________

I would love to kill an Indonesian illegal immigrant in the process of posting this. Unfortunately that didnt happen.

What a day. Out!

The fall of my ultimate ride.

2006-05-01T16:36:00.000+08:00

2004 Ford ~~Musang~~ Mustang GT

WARNING : Long Post. Not too long la, dont complain!

Day : Saturday
Date : 29th April 2006
Time : 1430LT

The day was so freaking hot, i could fry ~~small children~~ burgers on my windscreen. So i was supposed to meet she and a friend of hers, lets call her MAS since she works for them. for a casual outing to ~~Bentong~~ Sunway Pyramid, so everything was set and i was supposed to fetch them in KTM Subang Jaya, near Carrefour. My 1992 Ford Mustang GT was such a darling the day before. On the same day, Saturday that is, i had to fetch my dad from the workshop at about 10am, and the air-con was kinda throwing a prank on me, the fan speed was a 4, which was maximum and it blowed like it was on 1 and it wasnt cold. I can almost hear my air conditioning system laughing sarcastically at me. What an asshole. So i thought maybe its running out of gas, and i dint give it much of a thought.

The time was 1400LT, same day, i was one my way to KTM Subang, some unexplained events took place while i was driving, like :-

I opened the window and i couldnt get it shut after that - WOW!
CD player was playing Metallica - Master of ~~Carpets~~ Puppets - let me tell you my player is really fucked. I cant play any cds but Metallica's Master of Puppets, Why? I dont fucking know. So i was blasting with my 4 torn speakers and 1 tweeter, torn as well, i have no idea where the other tweeter went. Here comes the o.O part, everytime i stepped on my brake pedal, the player goes off, it pauses and when i take my foot of the pedal, it resumes - Now my brake pedal is electronically connected to my player and it acts as my pause button - WOW again.
Aircond was bitching as well, its getting worse, hot as hell outside and my a/c is playing a prank on me. - Patience is virtue.
I turned my signal light on to turn into KTM junction, the tik tik sound was there, but the light was cease to exist, i looked at my dashboard clock, i cant see a damn thing, too dim. I knew something gonna give away - Ooh Mama!
I turned at the junction, the engine stopped and decided to take a nap - Perfect.

The road was jammed packed and my engine decided to die. OMG. You know the brake ~~babes~~ plates wont function if the engine wasnt on, it hardens and i was controlling the car with my handbrake. Power steering was not so power as well. You know. I managed to park my car at the side of the road, behind Subang Parade and i went across the road to KTM to call BK. He said he'll be there shortly. Pheww.

So i went into KTM, she and MAS just arrived. I told them the problem and they werent annoyed or whatsoever, they were damn cool about it, no worries they said, normal to have problem with cars. ~~Jesus~~ BK the savior came after 20 minutes or so...and he told me we gotta push the car to get it start, the classic way. So, since there were 4 of us, 2 guys, 2 girls, both BK and me decided to push the car and ask the girls to sit in the car, she was on the driver seat, we told her what she should do to get the car started as we push. She's familiar with manual tranmission, so we know it wouldnt be a problem for her. Its a big car, and it was so fuckin hot and we couldnt push and get it started. Argh!

So, we took a ride in BK's Lambo and went to SS15 to the nearest reachable ~~saloon~~ workshop, we explained what happened and the bugger said it's 99.9% ~~secondary turbocharger~~ alternator problem. He said he is an idiot and lead us to another workshop in SS14, because this SS14 guy is an alternator savvy or something, i dont know. So we took this new bugger and brought him to the place where my car was taking a nap. Bastard. He checked and confirmed, my car was diagnosed with FUFFAD (Fucked Up For Fun Alternator Disorder), literally means my ~~secondary turbocharger~~ alternator died. And i had no idea how much a re-cond alternator would cost, so i did what everyone would do, Ask! He said it'll be RM100++, mind you, no offends but whenever a Chinese dude says its hundred plus, its never RM120, or RM150, its always RM199.98. And so i assumed its 200 bucks. Noooooooooooooooo! :'( , Why all these happened? :-

Bloody old scrap metal car is so fugly and decided to die for fun? - i dont think so.
I was too lazy and i didnt care? - Bingo!

Its me.

Since he placed a new battery the car ran fine till the workshop, he said it would take an hour. So all for of us went to a mamak shop neary for a drink. BK was victimizing the small turtle toy that he took from my car earlier. She & Bk was arguing on something for a bit. And we talked and laughed and ate. The car was finally done and BK passed his cash to me since i had no enough money with me. The damage was RM235. Thanks mike! :D. He had something to do so he went back home, and 3 of us left to pyramid.

So in Pyramid we went on a quest to survey on LCD monitors, she wanted to get one. After done with surveying and all we headed to Sega City, im not sure what they renamed it to now, but you know that place. We played a couple of games and it was getting late, since we wasted so much of time with my silly car :(, so we head to Klang for dinner, time was 2200 + LT

My aircraft landed in Restoran Shanmuga's Klang. We were having our dinner, and i left to BK's house to fetch him, coz we wanted him to join us for dinner. We talked talked and talked. The time was 0100LT, i had to send she & MAS back home. Its getting really late. So we sent them back and headed back.

It was fun meeting she and MAS. And i really appreciate their patience. Thank you so much. :) Wonderful people, and BK was there throughout the process, and he helped so much! Thanks moike!

Briyani, Michaelangelo, Pakistan & Bollywood

2006-04-27T02:24:00.000+08:00

Earlier today, April 26th, after office hrs, time was aprox 1915LT, i was waiting for BK (not banana kaya you idiots, its BK, my friend) in this restaurant named Real Nasi ~~ntah apa apa ntah~~ Briyani, here in KL, somewhere near Maju Junction, nothing great about the food, really. I was sitting and waiting for both BK and my teh ais, had dad's camera with me today, Why? Im too lazy to explain. Lets skip that. Its a 10 or more year old Canon EOS1000F/n SLR camera.

And came this two Pakistan guys to the table that i was seated, they work there, one was some Bollywood ~~whore~~ hero looking, and the other one looks like Michaelangelo, not the artiste, but the ninja turtle. I noticed Michaelangelo was sweeping the floor earlier.

Bollywood Hero : You speak Hindi? ( i was like what the fuck for?)

Me : No, i dont know Hindi. (Man, my bollywood hero like looks can be really deceiving eh?, ok I'll stop here, i know thats too much.)

Michaelangelo : How much is this ~~crap~~ Canon? Its a good camera. (perfect English he speaks)

Me: Ow, its an old one, its about RM1500 about 10 years ago.

Michaelangelo : Its a good camera, i have 2 Canons myself, one T90, and one more Canon A1, I know about Canons alot because photography was my profession back in ~~Bota Kanan~~ Pakistan. How come there's no market for second hand cameras over here? Everything is new...bla bla bla

Me: o.O (holy crapness)

And Michaelangelo continued sweeping the floor.

See, my mistake was i underestimated Mr. ~~kura kura~~ ninja turtle, but really, how would i know that this guy could speak decent English, he sounded really professional and educated too, he's a photographer (or he was, i dont know). But it really hit me to see him sweeping the floor here in Malaysia. I really pity these people, some of them are really educated, bastard have like double and triple degrees but they turned out to be sweeping and wiping tables here simply because they couldnt find a job in their motherland, its all about survival, they need money desperately, for their family and all. I knew this dude who make drinks in a restaurant near my college, about 3 years ago, a young guy, later i found out he has 2 degrees, one in Hotel Management and another one in Business Admin if im not mistaken. He's working here for shitty 500 bucks. Man, i pity them. Asian countries really need a change.

I suppose we should be really thankful with what we have over here in Malaysia, at least situations are not as bad as some countries like Pakistan, India and also ~~the overnight celebrity~~ Bangladesh.

On another event thats totally not relevant to this post, i had 77 hits in the past 24 hrs. I really wonder who's reading? But 77 is a good start, so yeah...Weeee! :D

Michaelangelo is the one in ~~red.~~ orange. (thanks lime!)

Really, no illegal immigrants were hurt or were made fun during the process of writing this post.

Out!

V. Bharani Kumar B.IT CSU Australia...weee!

2006-04-25T01:14:00.000+08:00

The day was Sunday, 23rd of April, 2006, my dearest friend, my best buddy, my sidekick and my brother, BK (again, its not Burger King you dumbass) finally graduated. He's from HELP. He has got a degree in some ~~cutting grass~~ computer crap. He did not study properly, that much i can tell you. Bwahaha. Sorry mike, i just had to. :)

Okay so I am gonna skip whatever happened throughout the ceremony as most of you already know what happened and shit. Oh yeah, it was in Shangri-La, Jln Sultan Ismail, KL. All the 3 floors were infested with ~~chimps~~ chicks. Really. And so after the ceremony, we (5 of us, including BK & me) went to Restoran OK, in Jalan Barat, PJ, you know..near Olympia College. The session started with 3 of us initially, the other 2 had something else to do. God knows what. So the starter was :-

Jack Daniel's 37.5cl (thats half of 75cl) x 2
1 Guinness Stout (for me for me..yaay!)
Dried chilli ~~dugong~~ chicken
Endless amount of love *shy*

Then came the other 2 brothers, let me just summarize what happened after that.

BK was the first one to get drunk. It was his day, so he deserves it
Puked twice, and the sound he made when he puked. Priceless, could scare small children even old ladies away. Its was this roaring aircraft sound with a tint of mental illness. I knew how it sounded because i followed him to make sure he doesnt end up with his foot in the toilet bowl thinking that it leads to Hong Kong.
Sentimental period went on for a bit, a little bit of tears and confession and so on.(only 2 were participating, the rest of us were eating fish :D) (Awwww) Not gay kinda shit. Let me make that clear.
A total of 8 Tiger beers, 1 Guinness Stout, 2 JD were consumed. Thats not alot for 5 of us, only 2 got drunk, one was BK, the other ~~creature~~ guy was quite drunk too, we knew because he told us.
They did not let me drink much, since i was driving, allright, fair enough.
Chicken, fish and squid were the victims for the night. Count in an immigrant too.
Someone had to pick almost a fight with the immigrants who was working there, reason? Bastards forgot about our chilli ~~dugong~~ chicken! But nothing happened.
We were all freaking happy :)

So, the reunion after..uhm 2 weeks or so, went on pretty well, lots of conversation, lots of insults, food and also booze strengthen bond between all of us i guess, the conclusion is, we were happy that he finally got his ~~dreadlocks~~ degree and made his parents proud. The look on their face was really priceless. BK is a great guy, and mike you better stay he fuckin same. We all love you, and congrats on your new relationship as well *winks*. God bless you both always. :) Pics?
Here we go : -

No immigrants were harmed during the ceremony.

Out!

Diploma in Multimedia Production...Just a piece of paper?

2006-04-19T10:04:00.000+08:00

Yuo suopurt publick edukasyen? Read on...

Some of you, i suppose most of my friends who read my blog knows that im a graphic artist by profession. Arts has always been my passion, my obsession, hobby and headache. I started of designing after looking at my 13 year old cousin messing massively with photoshop, i was 15, and that was the age i ever touched a computer for the very first time. I dont know why, but i got obsessed with ~~solitaire~~ Photoshop at that age, curiosity explains it, and the version was 5.5, and yes i messed with it in depth, constantly looking for online tutorials (theres a million online) and try to come up with something everyday, soon i got the hang of it and i looked at it from a considerably serious perspective. Graphic design was my new found obsession, the age was 17. I somewhat mastered Photoshop (scale 7.5/10) at the age of 17.

And soon came the typical shit, ~~koko krunch~~ college, and i wanted to get a ~~dipshit~~ diploma at least in the field that i love. After quite a bit of survey, i managed to shortlist one college, let the name remain anonymous. *groans* My course wasnt just a graphic design course, it was Multimedia Production, whatever fuck that means. Its mainly about sleepless nights and endless amount of nicotine candy, you crack your brain so much, you wish you could've take up something else like hotel management of some shit to do with bomba. But it was all good, i survived and graduated in September 2003. My diploma costed me RM 20 k, twenty fuckin grands, for how long you ask? 20 months, so its literally 1k a month. End of the day, i think i could do with my life without the 20k diploma. I'll tell you why:-

2 tools that i need the most, Adobe Illustrator and Photoshop ( i learnt nothing in college, Photoshop, they taught me all the stuff i figured out years ago, Illustrator? they didnt know it even existed) - both this tools, i mastered, how? self taught.
5 interviews i have been in my life so far, ive got all of the job,*fulamak, proud!* i declined one, and believe it or not, none of these people even bothered to ask me which institution i am from, or even whether i have a diploma or a degree, nothing. All they asked was 'Can i see your ~~underwear~~ work?' Because end of the day, that what matters. I've seen alot of LUCT graduates, their work looks like shit. No offends. Typical design graduates, they have no passion, thats the problem.
The diploma didnt supply whatever criteria the market seeks.
And fuck, there were'nt any chicks in the college.

Sometimes i really feel i wasted so much of time and money on the diploma i did, im applying what i learnt by myself in my daily job tasks. I guess its too late to regret it, but im quite sure i can do the same shit what im doing now without my 20k diploma. The feeling when i collected the cert from my colleges office is priceless. I was like 'So this is the shit that costs me 20k?' A piece of yellow A3 sized paper with a massively bitched up signature of some Australian ~~kanggaroo~~ jackass which did nothing good over the 3 years period of time. I never showed the cert to any of the interviewers simply because they didnt ask, why? Because they dont give a flying fuck where youre from and what your qualification is, its just the matter of your designwork, your creativity speaks, your portfolio will do the job, the rest are useless.

I think the diploma in my field is useless, unless you beg to differ. Just my 2 cents :)

Kangaroo

Out!

Americans!

2006-04-17T12:00:00.000+08:00

Typical American fast food order :-

2 large beef pepperoni pizzas - triple pepperoni, double cheese
3 large ~~flies~~ fries
3 portions of fried chicken
and a DIET coke.

Like really, what the fuck for? Diet? Right.

Out!

The Job

2006-04-16T17:35:00.000+08:00

People! I blogged about the new job i got and the one week observation period earlier, oh yes! i made it through, so now i can say i really got the job. Im so happy :), so yeah..Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

And PIC, thanks for everything again. :)

Out!

Ow my dearest P.I.C (you know what it stands for)

2006-04-14T00:20:00.000+08:00

She just came without a warning, i was really down at one point and i thought tommorow's never gonna get any better than today. I was wrong, . She put a smile on my face the very first time i started talking to her, thru MSN that is. No, she's not the girl im in love with or something (there isnt any though), need to make a point so you wont get the wrong idea but im talking about my newfound friend, my partner in crime, my close buddy, someone who i can really connect and talk for hours without getting bored at any point. Lets just call her she.

I'll just get to the point allright, she's prolly the most interesting person i have ever came across in such a long long time. And im grateful that i found her, she took away all the sadness and heartache i had in just like 2 days. Diverted me pretty well. I wasnt sure if she knew i was feeling down and all, but i guess its all good. Lets see what is she like...

She's funny, well funny is an understatement. She can make me laugh in 0.3 seconds

She's sarcastic, in a good way, and i like the way she spits her words out without mercy:D

She's caring, yes, something happened in the process of me getting a job, and she holds big
responsibility on that matter.

She's a good listener, and a great motivator.

She's has a nice funny way of talking.

She's pretty straightforward, all the time.

She's cute, but never admits, and im sure the rest of the world would agree on this statement, that if you know her of course.

She's can make me lose my face in 3 seconds flat.

She's a gangster wannabe.Bwahaha

She's a well balanced person, not wild not too culturally inclined. Just nice!

She's beautiful, in and out. She wont agree with this either.

Though i have only known her for a month, yes a month, but we connected pretty well, and i have only met her 3 times. I dont write stuff like this, and i have never expressed how much i value friendship to anyone at all, i never do that, thats just not me, but i guess im writing this just to let her know at least how grateful i am that she's my true friend. Oh, and i didnt swear on this post..haha. So, She, i know you'll be reading this sooner or later, all i wanna say is, thanks for being such a great person, a great friend and a my partner in crime ;). God bless u always!

...and, truly exceptional, she is. Period.

Out!

Coders

2006-04-13T00:26:00.000+08:00

Above, a coder.

Allright, these buggers are downright annoying, coder, dimwits, coders are computer ~~panda~~ programmers, they claim to be logic thinkers, but theyre not even close to anything logic or even sane, fine i do admit there are some sane, cool, human like coders but they are one in 3 million, like MARS , he's prolly the only coder that i know who can be considered normal and nice and cool (buy me beer bitch) And most of these buggers are from ~~JinJang~~ India.

Lets see, i met this dude, where and how, trust me you wouldnt wanna know, BK saw him twice, both the times he was trying so hard not to laugh, rude? I dont think so. He's a coder allright, from India, sigh, he is like a computer, he generates answers when a question is pointed, then he shuts up and never speak a word, until you give a new task, he answers and shuts the fuck up. Its annoying, like a freaking interview or sumthing. This guy is not normal, he sits down and have this facial reaction of deciphering ~~eggs~~ codes even when there is no computer is front of him. He walks with his head down, like he is shy to see anything besides monitors. Im not being mean here, i just dont get the idea why most of then are like that, really. Mars, tell me man, does the freaking codes fuck your brains up in the process on learning it? Or its just the way it is? Coders - Retards. Youre not Mars. :)

We need coders, no doubt, MARS had assisted me alot on modifying this blogpage's coding and shit, he tells me without thinking, i really respect that, rtuly impressed the way he teaches, codes just pops out from his head. Hats off. But its scary to ask the rest of the ~~conmen~~ coders for anything, lets see what happens when a coder chats with a ~~idiot~~ nigga wannabe via real time chat client/software :-

Tupackrishan ( the nigga)
:.NameOneTwo (the coder)

Tupackrishan - hey yo yo yo yawwwwwwwww, suppp my one two one two check!
who's in da hse yo!!

NameOneTwo - uhm...
{}
public:
int StartYourEngines(
Engine& rSomeEngine,
Engine&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp; rAnotherEngine);-{}
}

Tupackrishan - Tha fark nigga? start yer engines? yer mama's a racer or sumshit?
nam' sayin, ima kill you iddy biddy mafakka wut! ASL nigga, gimme da shit!
Who dat who dattttttttt!!

NameOneTwo - err class Test
{{}
public:
void DoSomething(StatusInfo& rStatus);
StatusInfo& rStatus();
const StatusInfo& Status() const;
private:
StatusInfo& mrStatus;()()
}{

Tupackrishan - Tha heck you crapping mafakka! Status fuckin info private? Mistah Status?
What fuckin name is that nigga! uzbekistan is where you belong biatch!

NameOneTwo - err..gtg >_>
enum PinStateType
{}} _
PIN_OFF

See? I went overboard, yes but this is prolly how they look at the chat conversation window, always wondering whats the code behind these chat windows, man they're screwed. These guys are intelligent, but intelligent people are always fucked, the real intelligent ones, the one who pushes the brains capacity limit.

And i have been really busy with the new toy job, no time to blog

:( This is sad.

Out!

Hari pertama kerjaku di Pusat Bandar Kuala Lumpur

2006-04-06T23:03:00.001+08:00

WARNING : The following post will be in Bahasa Melayu, immigrants, stay away.

Walaupun aku masih terlelap di katilku, kedengaran lagu yang teramat merdu sekali di dalam mimpiku, Aik? Magik? entahlah, baru kusedar lagu yang kedengaran sejak sepuluh minit yang lalu bukanlah lagu yang di dendangkan oleh Siput Sarawak mahupun Carlos Santana, tetapi 'alarm' dari telefon bimbit yang berada di bawah bantalku. Hari yang gembira menantimu, bisik.... hmm takde sape la..saje jer..

Okay i cant take this, its been 6 years since i wrote anything decent in BM, its rusty, totally. So yeah, i woke up and got ready for work. Time was 0645LT, i left home y 0715LT. This was the first time ever im driving to ~~Kepong~~ KL at this hour, and i gotta tell you, the traffic is disasterous. Pure madness, freaking cars are everywhere, and lots of lady drivers, they just dont belong to the road for Christ's sake. Damn Samy. Thanks for the faster route with 3 tolls, thats like friggin RM4.50 - one way only. That i were to use Kesas highway all the way to KL. Im no millionaire, so i chose the classic way, Federal 'jammedfornofuckinreason' Highway.

It took me an hour just to get to Motorola interchage from my hse, which will take only 15 minutes at night, after 10 that is. I was in PJ to fetch BK (not Burger King you dimwits,he's my best friend) at about 0830LT, his work starts at 0900LT, location Maju Holdings, Jln Tunku Abdul Rahman, KL. Guess what, we made it there by 0845, how? I dont know, there roads were super clean, it was like everyones on MC.

Coming back to my story, i got a job in Jln Sultan Ismail, and my office in the ~~Bangla~~ Asian Heritage Row, right opposite The Loft, building is called Heritage House (apparently this is the gempak name, formerly known as Wisma Warisan bwahaha.) So i was there by 0900LT, and my work starts at 1000LT, so i have got an hour to waste, i headed to the mamak nearby after parking my car for RM3.00 (per entry), yes its cheap, considering the prices of parking fee in KL. Buzzed a friend and had a small chat, then it was almost 1000LT, so i headed to the office which is located in floor 12B, technically its the 14h floor. And came my boss, a British guy, quite a young guy actually, he briefed me about the task for the day. So there, i started to work, quite alot of work. Did a flash animation and about 6 templates all together.

And there is this particular ~~broom~~ room in the office, which has a balcony, and the view was simply superb, stunning geometrical objects all around me. Pictures? Allrite, here we go :-

On the left is Maju Holdings and some other unknown buildings, MH is where BK works

Sheraton Imperial's rooftop, with swimming pool, yes.

Sheraton Imperial, right in front of me, that explains the angle of this shot.

Im so lazy to rotate this picture, just tilt your head to the right, yeap its KLCC

Same action required as above, Jln Sultan Ismail.

First day was cool, i had a bit of pressure anyway. But its allright, im loving it . :D
Im actually on a week of trial period, my boss wants to see if im comfortable with web designs, because, all my previous jobs were more towards print designs, so web is something new for me, although i can handle it, but there's a little fear. I believe can manage it though. So after a week of observation, i will know if i really get the job. Pray for me people, its really a good opportunity for me. :)

I was done with work at about 2030LT, and here i am at home blogging about my experience, i dont wanna go into details, it might take forever and im not in the exact mood of typing. Colleagues are nice, very friendly people, only 4 of us including boss and me. Pin drop silent environment, i can hear the CPU's fan. o.O, oh yeah, and i met BK for lunch. This is simply beautiful, what i always wanted, to work in KL. Dream come true? we'll know in a week. Keep the days counting!

p/s: My workstation

Out.

[published by hotstuff sal!]

Maxis 3G.. a new vision spits

2006-04-06T01:08:00.000+08:00

Today was an amazing day, technically it was yesterday, i quit my current job, that was the last day. So i was getting ready to head home after burning my ~~boss~~ files and all, time was approx 1600LT. I was on the road heading back home and i received a sms from ~~Makcik~~ Maxis, it went something like this : -

FREE 3G SIM upgrade when you show your 3G phone @ Maxis centers in Klang Valley & ~~Pakistan~~ Penang..bla bla bla bla *cough*

I went o.O, just because i was checking about this huge hoo haa's on 3G Friday last week in KL, and they said, pre paid users have a ~~damage~~ fee of RM25 to get the SIM card replaced and for the initial settings thingy. This sms tells me something else. Im not a huge fan of this whole internet thingy through mobile, there are a few reasons :-

i) Its a freaking phone, so the screen is like stupid small, if you were to watch EPL, forget about details like...the ball, its oblivious.
ii) Speed - first thing that comes into concern when i think about the net is the speed, 3G, WAP, GPRS, they crawl like fuckin maggots.
iii) Cost - Its slow, and annoying, and its stupid expensive, defeats the purpose, really.

But, that did not stop me, i was really being curious, whats this shit is all about you see, and the good news is its FREE, never say no to FREE stuff, let it be warm catjuice, as long as its FREE, its a yes. And i happen to use a 3G phone myself, i didnt get it because its 3G, but it was cheap and i got of a ~~bastard~~ friend. It's a Sony Ericsson Z800, ugly? yes, but i love it. :)

So i went to the ~~Makcik~~ Maxis Service Center in USJ10, Subang Jaya to get this free thingy sorted, i was waiting for my turn to be entertained by the Customer Service Rep, Consultant, Prick, whatever. One of the person there was a smoking hot malay chick, was hoping that i could go to her, but nah, i got sent to a chinese chicken haired dude instead, nevermind, i want the free stuff, so that wasnt a issue at all. Maybe it was, abit. It took them about 30 minutes all together. Finally it was done!

Here comes the testing part, i couldnt test it at first because i was lacking on 2 important element :-

1) Battery - was running low like a midget
2) Credit - *shy* hehe.

I reloaded on the way home and charged the phone. I got my hands on this 3 fuckin G thingy finally, and oh i was so disappointed. I tried watching CNN, it connected and the streaming video started, and i saw Saddam,then the video lagged and died. Strike one!

Tried connecting again after a couple of hours, it wasnt going thru, it says "Try again later" Like fuck yeah, not that im gonna sit and weep over it. Strike two!

Tried again, connected, i was being a cute kid and was trying to get thru the Cartoon Network channel, connected! yaay! They were playing cow & chicken, i saw the cow for about 30 seconds, and showed my pops what 3G is all about, and it died. Strike...nevermind. I give up.

I read an article somewhere, 3G which merely means 3rd Generation connectivity is apparently in the intial stage of establishment in the Europe itself, so people, even if you have a 3G or if youre planning to get one, i suggest you invest the money on something else, upgrade your machine or get a dog for fucks sake.

out

2006 Superman Returns - that's all we need...

2006-04-03T01:10:00.000+08:00

Flying freak is back, after like 20 years or so, the last one got handicapped and eventually died, wonder whats gonna happen to the new one. Hopefully he wont die too, new superdude, stay the fuck away from ~~pantyhose~~ horses

Superman - nothing super with this dude anyway, he wears the underwear outside, i know this issue has been bitched to death. Outfit is blue + yellow + red, bad bad bad. Retarded to glory. Hairstyle, jesus christ, i thought it would be better since its freaking 2006, nothing much changed, same gay looking fucked up hairstyle. He looks more like a stripper gone ~~gay~~ mad.

A few things i heard about this new guy who's playing the main role, whatever the fuck his name is.

i)He's a pornstar. Period. No one wants to take this role because they think its jinx or some shit.
ii)His groin, apparently it was too big, and that seemed to be the point of reference, so they had to 'graphically' remove it, wait...make it smaller...thats more like it. fine that he has a big tool, but this is very embaressing. Very!
iii) David ~~ass fell off~~ Hassehoff was supposed to take this role. Allright, kidding.
iv) I'll ~~strip~~ stop here.

Im talking too much here, but i know i'll watch it anyway, exciting to see a big groined pornstar fly.

Out.

Of Indian men and moustache.

2006-03-30T14:07:00.000+08:00

I wanted to blog about this for a very long time now. Never once i understood the ultimate connection between indian ~~bear~~ men and moustache. All of them have it, its like a freaking curse, every indian man, moustache is a must, nevermind if youre impotent, moustache gotta shine there all the time. Gotta admit that it does look good on some people, say about 1/2 out of 25, thats the truth. The rest, hate to say this, its fugly. Looks fucking stupid.

The younger generations are changing though. But there are some typical motherfuckers with the mindset of "Youre a man only if you have moustache". What the fuck! Nevermind normal people, prolly the movies influenced their young minds. I'll tell you why, indian movies (not only tamil, but indian in general) always praise the ~~whores~~ heroes, heroism is the most important factor. Songs are fairly tolerable, since all of us love music. ~~Gay love~~ Fight scene is a must. Stupid young kids watch these kinda influential scenes throughout their life, ,they grew up to be heroes, thats what they want. Attention. Lets see some pictures of indian actors and their deep connection with moustache :-

See moustache in everything? Hmm...Out!

Creative Ads

2006-03-29T14:00:00.000+08:00

I'm always a fan of good creative ~~porno~~ ads, let it be prints, TV ads or any form of practical advertisements, I work in an advertising agency myself. I belong to the industry i guess. The competition is mindblowing though. One thing about powerful ads, it doesnt have to be expensive at all sometimes, some of the most powerful ads i have seen, didnt require much of a budget, its just the creative director's fee's, which is nothing compared to the amount that some spend on their ad setup, ~~gay~~ models and etc.

Let me tell you about how it feels to work in an agency as a graphic designer. Basically, you dont have the power to decide, which means you dont get to throw much of your creative juice onto the task. So, you see, im just like a god damned dog, sit! and i'll ~~shit~~ sit, sleep! and i'll sleep. Just like a freakin muppet you know. It also can be nerve wrecking at times, but i were to look at the industry by whole, i would say its a beautiful industry.

Anyway ~~fags~~ folks, here's some of the ads that i really admire:-

Click on the thumbnails for a bigger image.*

The way they promote their language is awesome.

A very powerful caption, "The faster you get, the faster you go" Damn right.

*Hats off* Very power caption as well, and the impact is painful. *bleeds*

Poster by McCan Erikson for Heal Foundation of India

I like this different approach, the insecticide can is placed upside down, which means the fly is actually dead.

Out!

OMFG! O.O

2006-03-28T15:43:00.000+08:00

I was done with all the design work for the day. *pant pant*

And came my boss, to my table and he asked me if I could check Mercedes Benz's Malaysian site, so i did. Then i passed the information he needed and continued bitching around the site, and i found this Financial Calculator, (which basically calculates the repayment installment), I almost shat in my pants after monkeying around with the calculator, for S350 that is.

Here are the numbers, math idiots, stay the fuck away!

You pay RM 11.5 k a month after dropping a down payment of 123.1k, and the loan is for fuckin 10 years, man this is an expensive car. But then again, the rich bastards might be earning 2m a month or more, 11k is basically just dog food. But 11k!, now thats something!

*wipes bleeding nose*

This is the bitch that costs a bomb, looks hot eh?

Priory of Sion - The Reunion..bwahahaha

2006-03-27T11:22:00.000+08:00

Day : Saturday
Time : Approx 1845LT
Location : My house.
Mood : Free foooood.....yaay!!!!!!!

So there I was right, sitting in the living room and watching the ~~Aromatheraphy~~ Arowana fish in the aquarium, all the fucker does is swim to glory all day like there's no tommorow, what a social outcast, bastard. It's nice to watch it swim once in awhile though. *

*Q$_)(&^@%#*&!@#*& * My phone rings in this hellishy loud song, calling from Mars o.O

Me : Hellow?
Mars : ~~I am a martian..Pzztt~~ Wei, where are you?
Me: At home la dude
Mars : Free right?
Me: No la dude, got double wedding to attend *then came the picture of free wedding ~~fish~~ food into my mind*
Me : *drool*
Mars : Im coming down there to meet AJ, what time will you be done?
Me: Im not sure la dude, prolly around 1am, i will call you once im done.
Mars : Ok, make sure *click*

Then we went for the wedding had the free food, which sucked big time, fuck that. Was chilling at TTDI for a bit and got stopped by traffic fuckholes on the way back. I was back in my room at 0200LT.

* $_)(&^@%#*&!@#*& * Phone rang again. o.O, Its Mars, again. :D

Me: Hellow
Mars: Where are you dei?
Me: Just got back home
Mars: Ok wei, come here, we're in Shah Alam, Seksyen 9, AJ and Baby (here comes a new character) are here too.

I was being a real lazy bitch here, lets not put it as lazy, just lack of enthusiasm. :)

Me: Come to my place la dude!
Mars : Where the fuckssat?
Me: *I explained to him, it went something like this, belok kanan, roundabout 12-12-bla bla bla*
Mars: o.O, dude can you come here?
Me: Erm, okay, gimme 10-15 minutes.

Time was 0205LT. So i took my dad's car, without his knowledge. Muahaha...

Reached the place and i saw my long lost friends, its been 8 years to be exact. Baby & AJ, so i got down from the car, and they were staring at me like O.O, Why? Let me explain the transformation of our looks in this 8 years :-

Mars - Looks pretty much the same now, just more facial hair.
Baby - He was big, gotten smaller now, with nice brushed goatee.
AJ - The same, fuckin same, minus the hair, he's bald, by choice that is.
Me - A crashed burnt victim, who eventually survived

AJ : Oh my god, the fuck happened to you, * and he started bitching about my long hair and piercing* You used to be the quietest fella in the set. Look at you now, whats all that, defense mechanism?
Me : Fuck you la..bla bla bla.

And fuck it started rainng so we went to a nearby restaurant, time was 0300LT And we sort of had a recap on what happened in the last 8 years, pretty interesting conversation, arguements and more, we talked about almost eveything from Jews to BMW autopark system, ~~the chinese chick with big boobs~~ and Mars was bitching about helicopter crashes. And we went home at 0645LT.

Here's the conclusion :-

Drinks - 2 each, Mars prolly had 3 because he poured one of it on his lap. (10 bucks) Cigarettes - 2 boxes - (14 bucks)
Travelling - (20 bucks) at least for both cars
The excitement of meeting long lost buddies - Priceless

Good that we had the reunion folks, we should hang out more. :)

Mars

Baby

AJ

Me

out!

Oooh..legs

2006-03-24T00:39:00.000+08:00

Perfect.

Retarded things to do when you get really bored.

2006-03-23T11:10:00.000+08:00

WARNING : The following ideas are just ideas, if you gonna try it, I'd say go ahead...

1. Set your neighbours dog on fire. You're an animal lover? Then set the neighbour on fire.
2. Go up to your friends and refuse to talk in anything but Bangladeshi. Make a real pissed off face, convince them that youre possesed by a bangla soldier ghost.
3. Wake your friend who's in a deep slumber, and ask him/her whether Mongolians are really retarded or they just look like that.
4. Bake a cake and throw it at your sister.
5. Sing in chinese while daddy is taking a nap
6. Fry and egg and eat it, puke it back and act drunk.
7. Call the cab, and pretend no one is at home when the cab arrives. If the cab waits, open the door and strike a middle finger pose.
8. Prank call you uncles.
9. Stare at your neighbour and mutter "You bastard."
10. Dress like a chef and wash your car, if someone stares, talk in Bangladeshi.
11. Play tennis alone.
12. Poke a cat.
13. Go to the bookshop and insist on buying a set of new tyres for your small sister's tricycle.
14. Jump in the drain.
15. If all these fails.. talk to a Bangladeshi on their economic issues.

Retardness level : 5.7 outta 10 - go on and abuse the comment with your ideas.

M A R S

2006-03-22T21:13:00.000+08:00

Mars that is.

Oh wow, i didnt know people are actually reading my blog, and oh yeah im back by popular demand (-_-). Mars and Dalsh, this is for you guys! Allrite, and so there was this dude, my long lost best friend, lets call him Mars, i have no idea why he chose this name, but heck, its all good. The year was ~~1889~~ 1989, location : Kajang, and we were 5, both the wankers landed in the same fuckin tadika (to all you fuckin' immigrants,i doubt there's any, tadika means kindergarten, click here if you dont get it still.). Tadika Sri Pelangi *weeps* So we were friends back then, we remained somewhat close up to 1997, thats when my dad decided and said, fuck this place, lets move elsewhere. During secondary schooling season, location: Sek Men Jalan Bukit, Kajang, he was my hang out buddy, he influenced me quite a bit, fuckhole was a smoker back then itself, and i wasnt *halo ring glows*. ~~Marshmallow~~ Mars introduced me to Nirvana, my musical interests changed at the very point, and if its not because of him, i wouldnt have been a rockstar now. Ok, now yeah, back to the story, so i left Kajang (thank GOD) and shifted to Subang Jaya. Never heard from him ever again.

This is where we got each others contact again, the year was 2000, i'll skip his because its boring.

And yeah, I met Mars again last week after 8 fucking years, 8 ...thats a big number. I drove straight to his house, suprisingly i could remember where it was, and i didnt get lost along the way. I parked right in front of his house and buzzed him, time was approx 2000LT :-

Me : Dude, I think im here.
Mars : Are you sure? o.O
Me : There's a chevy outside, and a gen-2 insi....
Mars : Oh, wait im coming.

Then i saw him coming out from his house, *silhouette effect*, he came out, opened the door and asked me

Are you gonna fuckin stay there or what, come inside.

And so i did. I parked and came out, he said "You're so big man". I was like "Yeah man, im taller than you now", then there was this little arguement who's taller and shit, fuck that.So i went in and said hi to his mom (aunty makes great nasi lemak, i had a few times like some 8 years back) and i saw his dad for the first time ever, Mars looks just like his daddy. I noticed the house has changed, renovated and it looks pretty slick and minimal, nice concept. After finishing the formality, we hit the road and went to Plaza ~~Mee~~ ~~Telor~~ Metro, as cool as it sounds, swear to God its a bad place to be. Kiddin'.

We sat in this restaurant and talked for prolly an hour and half, sort of a recap of that 8 years you know, it was really nice to see him again after a long long time, then we were talking about another guy who was close to us, lets call him AJ, and we wanted to meet him as well, not knowing where the fuck he would be. So Mars messaged someone and we managed to get hold of AJ's number. Yeah you guessed it, we called him. Mars did the talking :-

(sorry immifuckingrants, no translated version for this conversation, damn right fuck you.)

Mars :- Wei, Johan, kau kat mane ni? Tesco? Ko buat aper kat Tesco, ko tahu ke sapa nie?
Apparently AJ didnt know who he is talking to, but he gave all the information.
Mars : Ok ok , ko tunggu sana, aku datang jap lagi.
This is the part AJ got back to his senses i think.
AJ : NO IDENTIFICATION, NO MEETING *click*
Mars & me : 0.O

Then we called AJ the MoFo again and IDENTIFIED ourselves like fuckin immigrants and he agreed to meet us in Tesco Kajang. (yeah they have one there too) We drove to Tesco and parkedm, went to the loo and we were smoking outside, we did call AJ when we arrived and he said we'll meet in Pizza Hut.

Mars' phone rang - Hello? Aah Aj, kat mane? kat Pizza Hut? Kitorang kat sane la...

HERE COMES THE FUCKED UP PART

Mars : APA? Tesco Shah Alam? o.O Wei...alamak takpe takpe...esok ko free ke? bla bla bla *click*

Communication breakdown? I dont know man, you decide, maybe Mars and me were too stoned.
And so we went home, i sent him back and headed elsewhere.

So the point is, im happy that i saw you again my dear friend. Really. Rock on buddy, we'll meet again soon.

Moral : Mars & me should really sharpen our communication skill, but then again we just dont care.

p/s: And Tadika Sri Pelangi is no longer in operation. *weeps* :'(

Rockfuckinstars

2006-03-15T12:49:00.000+08:00

Man, look at all these rockstars, they're so cool. All macho and looking tough, of course their looks are boosted further by the guitar hanging from their shoulders.
Here are some of the rockstars i really admire. Always wanted to be like one of this rugged looking rich motherfuckers. Oh yes, their rich as hell, and they dress like rednecks still. Racist me? Muahaha deal with it.

Here are some bastards that i look up upon to :

Slash of Guns and Roses - This guy is like a walking modern stoned GOD, he's old now and looks like shit.

James Hetfield - Very texan/cowboy looking frontman and of course the band is Metallica

Sully Erna - Godsmack, frontman, love his burns and voice, feck.

Chad Kroeger - Nickleback, man with spiral curls, blonde that is. *amazed*

Kurt Cobain - well, no comments.

Alexi Laiho - all i know, girls go like *oh my gawd! look at him OMFG, i'd screw him for nothing!!*

Max Cavalera - ex Sepultura, now Soulfly, one brazilian fuck that's not directy related to football. *claps*

Mawi - akademi fantasia, allright, just kidding.

Marilyn Manson - does'nt have a manly appearance anymore, but what the heck, he's cool.

Eddie Vedder - GOD *bows* Pearl Jam, inventor of the deep, big vocal pattern, then came along fag fucks like Scott Stapp/Stapler/Whatever of Creed, and a 1000 more for that matter

Kenny Wayne Shepherd - KWS Band, professional blues guitarist at the age of 19? Now that's something. He can pull off any of Hendrix's cover. Young but bold. Long silky straight blonde hair.. Hmmm...

Dave Mustaine - Megadeth, ex Metallica, another mean looking bastard.

Jon BonJovi - not a big fan of him, but he's old and still rocking \m/

Dave Lombardo - Slayer, nuff' said.

Candice Kucsulian - Independent band, Walls of Jericho - vocals, and yes, female she is. Heard her voice? You should, she can make fuckholes from bands like Simple Plan & Good Charlotte choke on their own balls and die of embaressment. Really.

Dani Filth - Cradle of Filth, cant be considered a rockstar...they play pop black metal, nice songs though.

Corey Taylor - Slipknot/Stone Sour, frontman, very rockstar yet calm looking bastard. Love his voice.

Zack de la Rocha -(Zacarias Manuel de la Rocha- man check that name out) Rage Against the ~~Washing~~ Machine, black vocalist, more of a rapper though, but he has his own style, revolutionized the Rock/Rap hybrid. Very technical band.

Gavin Rossdale - model like frontman of Bush, married to Gwen Stefani - bastard.

Rob Zombie - Im not sure what's his approach is all about, looks like a rotting mummy though, so yeah, he's cool.

John Lennon - Woohooooo! Hey Jude, he died.

Jason Newsted - Very quiet, calm, relaxed bassist, well ex bassist of Metallica, the best bassist ive ever seen on stage, skill & style wise.

Karl Buechne - He's in his 40's, inventor or the sub genre hardcore, belongs to the band Earth Crisis, and he's a vegan. (sheesh!)

Thats all for now, go figure out your own list of rockstars.

Sully Erna - Godsmack

Slash - GNR

Kenny Wayne Shepherd

Zack de la Rocha - Rage Against the ~~Washing~~ Machine

Candice Kucsulian (the chick, duh!) - Walls of Jericho

Eddie Vedder - Pearl Jam

Chad Kroeger - Nickelback

Corey Taylor (unmasked) - Slipknot/Stone Sour

Max Cavalera - Sepultura / Soulfly

December - plain rockstar wannabe! Oh yeah! I rawk!

No animals were harmed in the making of this article. Thank you people.

out!

...

2006-03-06T13:22:00.000+08:00

I lived the life of a drifter
Waiting for the day
When I’d take your hand
And sing you songs
Then maybe you would say
Come lay with me love me
And I would surely stay
Many times I’ve been a traveller
I looked for something new
In days of old
When nights were cold
I wandered without you
But those days I thougt my eyes
Had seen you standing near
Though blindness is confusing
It shows that you’re not here

One of the most emotional song I've ever came across. I feel it now.

It rained that night. - random story

2005-11-03T03:45:00.000+08:00

And so it rained that night, he woke up, senseless, cold. All he saw was the ambience of the window frame, right in front, as he stood and head to the window to peep on the world outside.

"It's been a while" he muttered to himself. He lived in darkness in pain,lonely,it has been two years, never knew what has happened, never actually cared about it. He remembers her face, he remembers her words, he remembers her touch, and it was raining that night.

He walked and crashed on the bed, debilitated. And it rained that night.

He never felt anything, so didnt she, all these while as it was still raining, outside, that night.

Sri Paandi vs Sri Paandi

2005-08-03T10:27:00.000+08:00

And yet another mamaking session with two of my friends yesterday in Restoran Sri Paandi *a group of chain restaurants, they are everywhere like fucking mushrooms* somewhere in PJ, nearby University Hospital, allright, coming to the story, so, we parked the car and walked towards the restaurant, but then i noticed there are 2 restaurants, with the same fucking name, side by side, well it is not something new to encounter anyway, i thought it was the same restaurant, where this fuckers have two lots since all the morons stack up in their premises everyday, but guess what, my friend said, NO, these are 2 different restaurants, 2 different managements, and the other in is managed by a chinese dude, what the fuck, Restoran Sri Paandi, Chettinad Cuisine & Makanan Daun Pisang, and the owner is a chinese.

Its not stopping there, as we approach the fuckin food kingdom, we saw like 10 dumbfuckheads yelling and promoting their restaurants, they were yelling in tamil, " over here over here" same goes on the other side, it was fuckin annoying and i wonder what the fuck is wrong with this people, competitors with the same name, different management and they have fuckers yelling as if there is a chick with 3 boobies dancing under the rainbow in their restaurants, i suggest these owners go shag a polar bear.

We finally decided to go to the 'indian' restaurant, prolly because of the love for the or, or im just being plain racist asshole, i dont care anyway. And it took them 10 minutes to take our order, indians...sigh

p/s: anyone interested in buring down the restaurant? pls do mail me.

Fuckin dumb asshole.

2005-08-02T14:26:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, during lunch hour, in my office of course, received a call from this moron that i have abso-fuckin-lutely no idea who it was, the conversation went something like this:-

dumbass : *mumbles something in chinese*

Me : Hello? *with a confused penguin look on the face*

dumbass : arr..i wanna ask arr...u company sell what product arr? *bad english is intentional, thats how the moron mumbled*

Me : product? we dont make anything here, we are an advertising agency...

dumbass: oh advertising hor...i got this name card, who is Ivy Ong (my boss' sister), is 'he' around?
at this point i got really irritated, this dumbfuck sounded as if a camel is shagging in him from the back

and dumbass continued : u office in USJ 1 hor...

Me: yes, callback tommorow if you are looking for Ivy.

dumbass: ok, thank you ahh

me: *click*

then i turned and told my colleague, 'whats wrong with these people, dumbfuckin morons' *sigh*

Personality test according to sparklife.com

2005-07-25T13:26:00.000+08:00

You are a Prober!

(Dominant Introverted Concrete Feeler)

You are a PROBER (DICF)— curious, passionate, driven, and probing. You're the kind of person who can't leave well enough alone. You have a very strong personality and a sense of adventure. And you'd rather go out and experience things for yourself than take someone else's word for it. Some people probably think you're a maniac.

People have a hard time believing you're an intelligent person. Perhaps there's a reason for this? Time will tell.

time will tell, right..fuckin balls.

Welcoming myself

2005-07-25T10:31:00.000+08:00

I have no idea why i signed up for this free blog, really, i dont. But looking at the way things are today, every jackass has a blog page to write their nonsense, some i find to be pretty informative, i am here probably to talk about arts and current issues or ever my sad life story for that matter, anyway, a warm welcome to myself.

Always December 2.0+

Only in Indian movies

Short story

Tweetbot - Why this twitter client?

Names. Why?

Lets deal.

#learntamil

Back on. For real. This time.

Shall start spitting back?

What has changed?

Fuck you terrorists.

..

Woohooo!!! not.

Cats

Fucking Claypot Chicken Rice.

Women - drivers from HELL

Eyecandy at its best

Gah!

The Dog

Angkasawan - Beruk Malaysia Pertama di Angkasa

Hindraf Gathering - Jln Ampang, 25th November 2007

December's Photography Blog

Mona Lisa Needed a Facelift

Loga of Alleycats passes away

What's happened to December?

*hearts*

Bistro

T Rajendar - An Indian Ape.

For CJ

God is Dead

The unexplained bits in Tamil movies.

Genetic Engineering

Oooops!

Idiots and their idealogies.

Bazement.net

Bye Shoutbox.

BLOGGERS BEWARE

Malaysian Police.

Religions of the World.

Quiescence

The top 10 unintentionally worst company URLs

Mac or PC

LRT

Sarvam Shivamayam.

Tuesday morning in MSN

Google

Illusion - What's it all about?

Brainfucked.

Ghosts? Argh!

Only In Penang

Bwahaha, Strikes! Im loving it...bleh.

An interview with the Captain, one man army, a retard.

The slogan generator. Nasty nasty...

Renault Kangoo - OMG.

Indonesian Illegal Immigrants - you motherfuckers.

The fall of my ultimate ride.

Briyani, Michaelangelo, Pakistan & Bollywood

V. Bharani Kumar B.IT CSU Australia...weee!

Diploma in Multimedia Production...Just a piece of paper?

Americans!

The Job

Ow my dearest P.I.C (you know what it stands for)

Coders

Hari pertama kerjaku di Pusat Bandar Kuala Lumpur

Maxis 3G.. a new vision *spits*

2006 Superman Returns - that's all we need...

Of Indian men and moustache.

Creative Ads

OMFG! O.O

Priory of Sion - The Reunion..bwahahaha

Oooh..legs

Retarded things to do when you get really bored.

M A R S

Rockfuckinstars

...

It rained that night. - random story

Sri Paandi vs Sri Paandi

Fuckin dumb asshole.

Personality test according to sparklife.com

Welcoming myself

hearts

Maxis 3G.. a new vision spits