Only in Indian movies

WARNING: This post might take away your Indian pride. Also a hint of profannnny profanity

Lets face this shit. Indian movies are down right ridiculous when it comes to incorporating realism or reality or whatever fuck you call it.

Songs in movies are fine..wait or at least we got shaped into the idea of having songs popping out of nowhere in movies, because we are very musically inclined people and so on.

Acceptable, or maybe i dont have a fuckin choice than to back my language and culture up.

Tamil.

My post is gonna be mostly on tamil films as i am one of them. The other Indian movies are equally retarded and im not gonna be an ass and rant about it.

whatever it is, do not fuck with this guy.

Lets see:

1. The heroes, the the ugly fuckers if you will have ugly hairstyles. The style got stuck somewhere in between the 80's shift to 90's with a hint of male horse's anus.

2. Moustache. Pubic hair look alike. They look awefully stupid. Im not condemning males having moustaches. Only 1 in a million will look with it. Like my dad. Others however look like they have a location crisis with their pubic hair positioning.

3. Heroines and bad miming. Because they are not Tamils but of course thats not an excuse. We dont get that shit in Hollywood. Perfection is important. Not in Indian movies though.

4. Old motherfuckers still playing the role of college student. Forever 25. More face wrinkles than zebra stripes with bellies looking like old pizzas.

5. Getting piss drunk is as easy as:
1. Pour liquor into glass
2. Bottoms up
<>
3. Put down the glass.

As you can see, they will be drunk between the action of 2 & 3. I dont get it. You can witness this shit in every other movie.

6. Fat bitches being sexy. Or at least trying. Nuff said.

7. Villans regretting their mistakes and changing to saints after a 2 minutes of gibberish motivational advice by the hero. What the fuck? He could have done it in the beginning of the movie and saved us a whole load of shit.

8. People disappearing in a blink. Dont think hard. You know that shit. Ting!

9. Bullet evading, gravity defying, somersaulting, horse riding, sliding under a trailer heroes.

10. Horrible usage of English. You you you! Rascol! Sheddap! Out i say! By the bai (wtf) nansense, country brute and so on.
11. Its fine when a man wears hot pink shirt. Usually will be America mapillai.

12. Father in laws to be are usually the villans. They are not tired of this shit yet.

13. Rich people are bad people.

14. Heroes are ugly and they are not aware of it.

15. You can get away with a murder if you are the hero. Good course mah.

16. Sex scene. If you dont wanna show boobies, dont show it at all. We dont need that shit.

17. Women who are giving birth screaming like horse-rape victims.

18. A blood donor is always needed at all times. Always turns out to be a medical miracles. The doctors dont know shit.

19. The first thug who gets whacked always hit an electric post.

20. Double role is normal. And guess what, they are not twins.

21. Heroes getting rich over a song.

22. Heroes can generate little thyphoons.

23. Heroes usually have high level of tolerence. However if he gets pissed off...

24. Wardrobe and choices of colors are unacceptable. Like they are color blind. Or retarded.

25. Cars can crash from 39 feet in air and still will be okay to drive. Fuck you.

26. Cars in tamil movies will always have alignment problem. Watch them as they steer.

27. You can see beautiful girls in jeans walking in chennai. That shit is not true. No shit. I've been there. All you get is piss smelling roads.


Out!

December

Short story

#1

Cotton candy. That was the last thing in his head before the spear split his head open.

He never liked Africa since he was 6.


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Tweetbot - Why this twitter client?

Im not gonna write a review on a Twitter client. Okay maybe it is a review, but definitely to in depth, up your arse kind of review.

Gotta tell you this, i have not gotten so attached to an electronic device before the my iPhone. I can do pretty much anything with it, from mails to porn, also all those social shit that you guys already know about.

I chose Tweetbot over Twitter for iPhone for a couple of prominent, weighty reasons.

1) Visually appealing - yes some may say its not entirely important, mostly Android users, but as for me, a design junkie, eye candy is important, and Tweetbot UI has a different feel to it all together, making the user experience an awesome, fun one.

2) Details - the amount of details they have put together in designing this app is awesome. I cant really tell you all those shit here, try it.

3) Notifications - previously, push notification was unavailable for Tweetbot, they got it sorted few days back, plus you have an option to receive mentions notification ONLY FROM THE PEOPLE YOU FOLLOW. Good shit.

The Drawback ...its not FREE. But you can always jailbreak your head phone.

Now i feel like a geek. Jesus.

for more info: http://tapbots.com/software/tweetbot/

Ta.

Names. Why?

Capsicum is such a cool sounding word for fuckin green peppers.

Like anchovies.




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Lets deal.

I noticed that something's stupidly wrong with the colors to this site.


Lets deal with it.


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#learntamil

WARNING: This post might hurt you. I did not make this up. It happens around us.

And this is not the conventional Tamil spoken throughout the world, this is our Malaysian version.

I tweeted these shitload of words a couple of days ago. Though I'd compile it here too.

Here we go: -

Amaleh Ganja is Holy Shit.

Kaingeh sette is your mate is screwed up or backstabbed.

Kawa sama kawa kanji uturan means friends should help each other

Mama jama puma means | mama is uncle (you address urself as uncle) jama (your tool) puma (the feline)

Enakku muka illaiya? Means so youre not respecting me?

Enakku kainge lebat means i have shitload of friends.

Kainge ligat lah means he's one cunning mofo.

Jokucikap means your joke is so funny.

Mayrachi means aahh eff this la. Normally falls into lets do this shit context.

Un public pambaiyeh mude means shut ur stinky mouth up.

Kena tiang machi means i defeated him.

Aven senjus! Means someone who cant keep his promise. Like ffk in chinese.

Cari makan means what it means in Malay.

Senjanda Sivaji is to be used to express the grief when someone cheatednor f'd u over BIG TIME.

Sarakku means a beautiful girl.

Katthi sarakku means a very beautiful girl.

Sappeh matter means small matter dont talk about it.

Allaaamaaaahhhh means wow! You have u sustain the word for at least 6 seconds.

Kainge hidup la means he's doing good in life. Often related to financial freedom.

Semme kurang means he is damn rude or 'kurang ajar'

Karuppa irunthalum nereppu means im fire even when im black. Just to show that u r dominant even if u r extremely dark.

Kambathu saraku means girl from the hood, kampung.

Rightu vidu is used when you dont anything to say as a comeback.

Sembaruthi poo means bunga raya. (know your flowers)

Ot***da orang tua means omg he f'd us big time!

Ponneh surre machi means im very drunk bro.

Tarik kainge means friends who run car towing business or works for them. Usually notorious.

Satu hati kawa means One Love.

Surre sumbat means drunk beyond acceptable level. Pissed drunk.

Keypak means dance. Usually the folk dance performed when u r getting drunk.

Lau beds means love birds.

Ponneh bijak la nee means so you're smart? Usually in a sarcastic manner.

Tigasepuluh means a place that sells beer. 3 cans for RM10.00

Jagat means mean, notorious, gangster, tough mofo, criminal and so on along this line.

Mampululuthimambo means big shot, top dog, sick mofo.

Pacchaiya pulliya? Means carlsberg or tiger? In that order.

Kutthuvoma? Means shall we eat/dance?

Muka Jatuh means someone's in shame.

Number kainge means friends who are into organized gangsterism.

Cantik macam bunga means what it means. Literallly.

Mamamitha. I dont know what it means but usually comes with a chest beating gesture.

Nai means Guinness Stout. Literally means dog.

Bob Malek means Bob Marley.

Zettu means Yamaha RXZ. Emmu means Yamaha TZM.

Slack means someone who spoke wrongly. Provoking speech. Can be used for other situations like food. E.g food slack la.

Roku means marijuana.

See'hate means cigarette. Sometimes Seagate. (thanks Dr.Suresh)

Kira dashyat la nee? Means so youre dashyat la? Usually used in speech of provoke.

Sappi means softie.

Sargar means police. Also moottai. Meppadayan

Kalinjan means corward.

Pi-kalinjan means extreme coward. A pussy.

Puluthi kacang means a big shot wannabe or you hate.

Savadi sambar means total awesomeness. E.g heard Syze's new track? Savadi sambar!

Paati plug means .... Up to u, really.

Matti plug means a stupid person.

Pi thombu means a drum of shit. Usually used to address a real dark person.

Paan jaanhn (panjang) means a tall person.

Sayur means a weak person.

Bintang terang/cerah means to express luck. Usually when someone escapes an accident or a fight.

Bintang means drunk/high.

Rastali means...a type of banana. (complimentary, know your fruits okay?)

Balti means revert. Like karma. U know.

Solungge bang means speak up bro/dude.

Done.

Back on. For real. This time.

Its like heating up a 3 year old fish curry. Just to get the aroma or shall i say just for fucks.

Come to think of it, i should have continued blogging from where it was left unattended. Is that a right word? Okay, point ; i am all mobile now, so i can write senseless, your mom offending stuffs once again. Will post something on Indians tonight. Its always fun.

Fun.


Out.


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