Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Only in Indian movies


WARNING: This post might take away your Indian pride. Also a hint of profannnny profanity

Lets face this shit. Indian movies are down right ridiculous when it comes to incorporating realism or reality or whatever fuck you call it.

Songs in movies are fine..wait or at least we got shaped into the idea of having songs popping out of nowhere in movies, because we are very musically inclined people and so on.

Acceptable, or maybe i dont have a fuckin choice than to back my language and culture up.

Tamil.

My post is gonna be mostly on tamil films as i am one of them. The other Indian movies are equally retarded and im not gonna be an ass and rant about it.

whatever it is, do not fuck with this guy.
Lets see:

1. The heroes, the the ugly fuckers if you will have ugly hairstyles. The style got stuck somewhere in between the 80's shift to 90's with a hint of male horse's anus.

2. Moustache. Pubic hair look alike. They look awefully stupid. Im not condemning males having moustaches. Only 1 in a million will look with it. Like my dad. Others however look like they have a location crisis with their pubic hair positioning.

3. Heroines and bad miming. Because they are not Tamils but of course thats not an excuse. We dont get that shit in Hollywood. Perfection is important. Not in Indian movies though.

4. Old motherfuckers still playing the role of college student. Forever 25. More face wrinkles than zebra stripes with bellies looking like old pizzas.

5. Getting piss drunk is as easy as:
1. Pour liquor into glass
2. Bottoms up
<>
3. Put down the glass.

As you can see, they will be drunk between the action of 2 & 3. I dont get it. You can witness this shit in every other movie.

6. Fat bitches being sexy. Or at least trying. Nuff said.

7. Villans regretting their mistakes and changing to saints after a 2 minutes of gibberish motivational advice by the hero. What the fuck? He could have done it in the beginning of the movie and saved us a whole load of shit.

8. People disappearing in a blink. Dont think hard. You know that shit. Ting!

9. Bullet evading, gravity defying, somersaulting, horse riding, sliding under a trailer heroes.

10. Horrible usage of English. You you you! Rascol! Sheddap! Out i say! By the bai (wtf) nansense, country brute and so on.
11. Its fine when a man wears hot pink shirt. Usually will be America mapillai.

12. Father in laws to be are usually the villans. They are not tired of this shit yet.

13. Rich people are bad people.


14. Heroes are ugly and they are not aware of it.

15. You can get away with a murder if you are the hero. Good course mah.

16. Sex scene. If you dont wanna show boobies, dont show it at all. We dont need that shit.

17. Women who are giving birth screaming like horse-rape victims.

18. A blood donor is always needed at all times. Always turns out to be a medical miracles. The doctors dont know shit.

19. The first thug who gets whacked always hit an electric post.

20. Double role is normal. And guess what, they are not twins.

21. Heroes getting rich over a song.

22. Heroes can generate little thyphoons.



23. Heroes usually have high level of tolerence. However if he gets pissed off...

24. Wardrobe and choices of colors are unacceptable. Like they are color blind. Or retarded.

25. Cars can crash from 39 feet in air and still will be okay to drive. Fuck you.

26. Cars in tamil movies will always have alignment problem. Watch them as they steer.

27. You can see beautiful girls in jeans walking in chennai. That shit is not true. No shit. I've been there. All you get is piss smelling roads.


Out!
December

7 comments:

shahindra.kumar said...

#onlyintamilmovies ; where a song scene on the street, everyone no matter how will know the dance steps!

Darsh said...

Hahaha Vee so true wei. Welcome back. The post is so so you. Had a ball laughing my ovaries out. ;)

Anonymous said...

Thanks Darsh!

True bro Shahindra!

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