Thursday, March 30, 2006

Of Indian men and moustache.

I wanted to blog about this for a very long time now. Never once i understood the ultimate connection between indian bear men and moustache. All of them have it, its like a freaking curse, every indian man, moustache is a must, nevermind if youre impotent, moustache gotta shine there all the time. Gotta admit that it does look good on some people, say about 1/2 out of 25, thats the truth. The rest, hate to say this, its fugly. Looks fucking stupid.

The younger generations are changing though. But there are some typical motherfuckers with the mindset of "Youre a man only if you have moustache". What the fuck! Nevermind normal people, prolly the movies influenced their young minds. I'll tell you why, indian movies (not only tamil, but indian in general) always praise the whores heroes, heroism is the most important factor. Songs are fairly tolerable, since all of us love music. Gay love Fight scene is a must. Stupid young kids watch these kinda influential scenes throughout their life, ,they grew up to be heroes, thats what they want. Attention. Lets see some pictures of indian actors and their deep connection with moustache :-







See moustache in everything? Hmm...Out!

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Creative Ads

I'm always a fan of good creative porno ads, let it be prints, TV ads or any form of practical advertisements, I work in an advertising agency myself. I belong to the industry i guess. The competition is mindblowing though. One thing about powerful ads, it doesnt have to be expensive at all sometimes, some of the most powerful ads i have seen, didnt require much of a budget, its just the creative director's fee's, which is nothing compared to the amount that some spend on their ad setup, gay models and etc.

Let me tell you about how it feels to work in an agency as a graphic designer. Basically, you dont have the power to decide, which means you dont get to throw much of your creative juice onto the task. So, you see, im just like a god damned dog, sit! and i'll shit sit, sleep! and i'll sleep. Just like a freakin muppet you know. It also can be nerve wrecking at times, but i were to look at the industry by whole, i would say its a beautiful industry.

Anyway fags folks, here's some of the ads that i really admire:-

Click on the thumbnails for a bigger image.*

The way they promote their language is awesome.

A very powerful caption, "The faster you get, the faster you go" Damn right.

*Hats off* Very power caption as well, and the impact is painful. *bleeds*

Poster by McCan Erikson for Heal Foundation of India

I like this different approach, the insecticide can is placed upside down, which means the fly is actually dead.


Out!

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

OMFG! O.O

I was done with all the design work for the day. *pant pant*

And came my boss, to my table and he asked me if I could check Mercedes Benz's Malaysian site, so i did. Then i passed the information he needed and continued bitching around the site, and i found this Financial Calculator, (which basically calculates the repayment installment), I almost shat in my pants after monkeying around with the calculator, for S350 that is.

Here are the numbers, math idiots, stay the fuck away!


You pay RM 11.5 k a month after dropping a down payment of 123.1k, and the loan is for fuckin 10 years, man this is an expensive car. But then again, the rich bastards might be earning 2m a month or more, 11k is basically just dog food. But 11k!, now thats something!

*wipes bleeding nose*

This is the bitch that costs a bomb, looks hot eh?

Monday, March 27, 2006

Priory of Sion - The Reunion..bwahahaha

Day : Saturday
Time
: Approx 1845LT

Location : My house.
Mood
: Free foooood.....yaay!!!!!!!


So there I was right, sitting in the living room and watching the Aromatheraphy Arowana fish in the aquarium, all the fucker does is swim to glory all day like there's no tommorow, what a social outcast, bastard. It's nice to watch it swim once in awhile though.
*

*Q$_)(&^@%#*&!@#*& * My phone rings in this hellishy loud song, calling from Mars o.O


Me
: Hellow?

Mars : I am a martian..Pzztt Wei, where are you?
Me
: At home la dude

Mars
: Free right?

Me
: No la dude, got double wedding to attend *then came the picture of free wedding fish food into my mind*

Me
: *drool*

Mars
: Im coming down there to meet AJ, what time will you be done?

Me
: Im not sure la dude, prolly around 1am, i will call you once im done.

Mars
: Ok, make sure *click*


Then we went for the wedding had the free food, which sucked big time, fuck that. Was chilling at TTDI for a bit and got stopped by traffic fuckholes on the way back.
I was back in my room at 0200LT.

* $_)(&^@%#*&!@#*& * Phone rang again. o.O, Its Mars, again. :D


Me
: Hellow

Mars
: Where are you dei?

Me
: Just got back home

Mars
: Ok wei, come here, we're in Shah Alam, Seksyen 9, AJ and Baby (here comes a new character) are here too.


I was being a real lazy bitch here, lets not put it as lazy, just lack of enthusiasm. :)


Me
: Come to my place la dude!

Mars
: Where the fuckssat?

Me
: *I explained to him, it went something like this, belok kanan, roundabout 12-12-bla bla bla*

Mars
: o.O, dude can you come here?

Me
: Erm, okay, gimme 10-15 minutes.


Time was 0205LT. So i took my dad's car, without his knowledge. Muahaha...


Reached the place and i saw my long lost friends, its been 8 years to be exact. Baby & AJ, so i got down from the car, and they were staring at me like O.O, Why? Let me explain the transformation of our looks in this 8 years :-


Mars
- Looks pretty much the same now, just more facial hair.

Baby
- He was big, gotten smaller now, with nice brushed goatee.

AJ
- The same, fuckin same, minus the hair, he's bald, by choice that is.

Me
- A crashed burnt victim, who eventually survived


AJ
: Oh my god, the fuck happened to you, * and he started bitching about my long hair and piercing* You used to be the quietest fella in the set. Look at you now, whats all that, defense mechanism?

Me
: Fuck you la..bla bla bla.


And fuck it started rainng so we went to a nearby restaurant, time was 0300LT
And we sort of had a recap on what happened in the last 8 years, pretty interesting conversation, arguements and more, we talked about almost eveything from Jews to BMW autopark system, the chinese chick with big boobs and Mars was bitching about helicopter crashes. And we went home at 0645LT.

Here's the conclusion :-

Drinks - 2 each, Mars prolly had 3 because he poured one of it on his lap. (10 bucks) Cigarettes - 2 boxes - (14 bucks)
Travelling
- (20 bucks) at least for both cars

The excitement of meeting long lost buddies
- Priceless


Good that we had the reunion folks, we should hang out more. :)

Mars

Baby

AJ

Me

out!

Friday, March 24, 2006

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Retarded things to do when you get really bored.

WARNING : The following ideas are just ideas, if you gonna try it, I'd say go ahead...


1. Set your neighbours dog on fire. You're an animal lover? Then set the neighbour on fire.
2. Go up to your friends and refuse to talk in anything but Bangladeshi. Make a real pissed off face, convince them that youre possesed by a bangla soldier ghost.
3. Wake your friend who's in a deep slumber, and ask him/her whether Mongolians are really retarded or they just look like that.
4. Bake a cake and throw it at your sister.
5. Sing in chinese while daddy is taking a nap
6. Fry and egg and eat it, puke it back and act drunk.
7. Call the cab, and pretend no one is at home when the cab arrives. If the cab waits, open the door and strike a middle finger pose.
8. Prank call you uncles.
9. Stare at your neighbour and mutter "You bastard."
10. Dress like a chef and wash your car, if someone stares, talk in Bangladeshi.
11. Play tennis alone.
12. Poke a cat.
13. Go to the bookshop and insist on buying a set of new tyres for your small sister's tricycle.
14. Jump in the drain.
15. If all these fails.. talk to a Bangladeshi on their economic issues.

Retardness level : 5.7 outta 10 - go on and abuse the comment with your ideas.


Wednesday, March 22, 2006

M A R S

Mars that is.

Oh wow, i didnt know people are actually reading my blog, and oh yeah im back by popular demand (-_-). Mars and Dalsh, this is for you guys! Allrite, and so there was this dude, my long lost best friend, lets call him Mars, i have no idea why he chose this name, but heck, its all good. The year was 1889 1989, location : Kajang, and we were 5, both the wankers landed in the same fuckin tadika (to all you fuckin' immigrants,i doubt there's any, tadika means kindergarten, click here if you dont get it still.). Tadika Sri Pelangi *weeps* So we were friends back then, we remained somewhat close up to 1997, thats when my dad decided and said, fuck this place, lets move elsewhere. During secondary schooling season, location: Sek Men Jalan Bukit, Kajang, he was my hang out buddy, he influenced me quite a bit, fuckhole was a smoker back then itself, and i wasnt *halo ring glows*. Marshmallow Mars introduced me to Nirvana, my musical interests changed at the very point, and if its not because of him, i wouldnt have been a rockstar now. Ok, now yeah, back to the story, so i left Kajang (thank GOD) and shifted to Subang Jaya. Never heard from him ever again.


This is where we got each others contact again, the year was 2000, i'll skip his because its boring.

And yeah, I met Mars again last week after 8 fucking years, 8 ...thats a big number. I drove straight to his house, suprisingly i could remember where it was, and i didnt get lost along the way. I parked right in front of his house and buzzed him, time was approx 2000LT :-

Me : Dude, I think im here.
Mars : Are you sure? o.O
Me : There's a chevy outside, and a gen-2 insi....
Mars : Oh, wait im coming.

Then i saw him coming out from his house, *silhouette effect*, he came out, opened the door and asked me

Are you gonna fuckin stay there or what, come inside.

And so i did. I parked and came out, he said "You're so big man". I was like "Yeah man, im taller than you now", then there was this little arguement who's taller and shit, fuck that.So i went in and said hi to his mom (aunty makes great nasi lemak, i had a few times like some 8 years back) and i saw his dad for the first time ever, Mars looks just like his daddy. I noticed the house has changed, renovated and it looks pretty slick and minimal, nice concept. After finishing the formality, we hit the road and went to Plaza Mee Telor Metro, as cool as it sounds, swear to God its a bad place to be. Kiddin'.

We sat in this restaurant and talked for prolly an hour and half, sort of a recap of that 8 years you know, it was really nice to see him again after a long long time, then we were talking about another guy who was close to us, lets call him AJ, and we wanted to meet him as well, not knowing where the fuck he would be. So Mars messaged someone and we managed to get hold of AJ's number. Yeah you guessed it, we called him. Mars did the talking :-

(sorry immifuckingrants, no translated version for this conversation, damn right fuck you.)

Mars :- Wei, Johan, kau kat mane ni? Tesco? Ko buat aper kat Tesco, ko tahu ke sapa nie?
Apparently AJ didnt know who he is talking to, but he gave all the information.
Mars : Ok ok , ko tunggu sana, aku datang jap lagi.
This is the part AJ got back to his senses i think.
AJ : NO IDENTIFICATION, NO MEETING *click*
Mars & me : 0.O

Then we called AJ the MoFo again and IDENTIFIED ourselves like fuckin immigrants and he agreed to meet us in Tesco Kajang. (yeah they have one there too) We drove to Tesco and parkedm, went to the loo and we were smoking outside, we did call AJ when we arrived and he said we'll meet in Pizza Hut.

Mars' phone rang - Hello? Aah Aj, kat mane? kat Pizza Hut? Kitorang kat sane la...

HERE COMES THE FUCKED UP PART


Mars : APA? Tesco Shah Alam? o.O Wei...alamak takpe takpe...esok ko free ke? bla bla bla *click*

Communication breakdown? I dont know man, you decide, maybe Mars and me were too stoned.
And so we went home, i sent him back and headed elsewhere.

So the point is, im happy that i saw you again my dear friend. Really. Rock on buddy, we'll meet again soon.

Moral : Mars & me should really sharpen our communication skill, but then again we just dont care.

p/s: And Tadika Sri Pelangi is no longer in operation. *weeps* :'(

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Rockfuckinstars


Man, look at all these rockstars, they're so cool. All macho and looking tough, of course their looks are boosted further by the guitar hanging from their shoulders.
Here are some of the rockstars i really admire. Always wanted to be like one of this rugged looking rich motherfuckers. Oh yes, their rich as hell, and they dress like rednecks still. Racist me? Muahaha deal with it.

Here are some bastards that i look up upon to :

Slash of Guns and Roses - This guy is like a walking modern stoned GOD, he's old now and looks like shit.

James Hetfield
- Very texan/cowboy looking frontman and of course the band is Metallica

Sully Erna
- Godsmack, frontman, love his burns and voice, feck.

Chad Kroeger
- Nickleback, man with spiral curls, blonde that is. *amazed*

Kurt Cobain
- well, no comments.

Alexi Laiho
- all i know, girls go like *oh my gawd! look at him OMFG, i'd screw him for nothing!!*

Max Cavalera
- ex Sepultura, now Soulfly, one brazilian fuck that's not directy related to football. *claps*

Mawi
- akademi fantasia, allright, just kidding.

Marilyn Manson
- does'nt have a manly appearance anymore, but what the heck, he's cool.

Eddie Vedder
- GOD *bows* Pearl Jam, inventor of the deep, big vocal pattern, then came along fag fucks like Scott Stapp/Stapler/Whatever of Creed, and a 1000 more for that matter

Kenny Wayne Shepherd
- KWS Band, professional blues guitarist at the age of 19? Now that's something. He can pull off any of Hendrix's cover. Young but bold. Long silky straight blonde hair.. Hmmm...

Dave Mustaine
- Megadeth, ex Metallica, another mean looking bastard.

Jon BonJovi
- not a big fan of him, but he's old and still rocking \m/

Dave Lombardo - Slayer, nuff' said.

Candice Kucsulian - Independent band, Walls of Jericho - vocals, and yes, female she is. Heard her voice? You should, she can make fuckholes from bands like Simple Plan & Good Charlotte choke on their own balls and die of embaressment. Really.

Dani Filth - Cradle of Filth, cant be considered a rockstar...they play pop black metal, nice songs though.

Corey Taylor - Slipknot/Stone Sour, frontman, very rockstar yet calm looking bastard. Love his voice.

Zack de la Rocha -(Zacarias Manuel de la Rocha- man check that name out) Rage Against the Washing Machine, black vocalist, more of a rapper though, but he has his own style, revolutionized the Rock/Rap hybrid. Very technical band.

Gavin Rossdale - model like frontman of Bush, married to Gwen Stefani - bastard.

Rob Zombie
- Im not sure what's his approach is all about, looks like a rotting mummy though, so yeah, he's cool.

John Lennon - Woohooooo! Hey Jude, he died.

Jason Newsted
- Very quiet, calm, relaxed bassist, well ex bassist of Metallica, the best bassist ive ever seen on stage, skill & style wise.

Karl Buechne
- He's in his 40's, inventor or the sub genre hardcore, belongs to the band Earth Crisis, and he's a vegan. (sheesh!)

Thats all for now, go figure out your own list of rockstars.

Sully Erna - Godsmack

Slash - GNR

Kenny Wayne Shepherd

Zack de la Rocha - Rage Against the Washing Machine


Candice Kucsulian (the chick, duh!) - Walls of Jericho

Eddie Vedder - Pearl Jam

Chad Kroeger - Nickelback

Corey Taylor (unmasked) - Slipknot/Stone Sour

Max Cavalera - Sepultura / Soulfly

December - plain rockstar wannabe! Oh yeah! I rawk!





No animals were harmed in the making of this article. Thank you people.


out!

Monday, March 06, 2006

...


I lived the life of a drifter
Waiting for the day
When I’d take your hand
And sing you songs
Then maybe you would say
Come lay with me love me
And I would surely stay
Many times I’ve been a traveller
I looked for something new
In days of old
When nights were cold
I wandered without you
But those days I thougt my eyes
Had seen you standing near
Though blindness is confusing
It shows that you’re not here


One of the most emotional song I've ever came across. I feel it now.